Japan

That's all I have to "say" about it, at the moment....

Friendship, Old Age, and... Homeschooling?

From Sarah: "Why were we not better friends when you were here?"

You remarked "probably that whole 'competition' thing."

[Sarah and I met doing "Children of Eden." We both did a lot of work in the Utah community theatre].

Honestly, Sarah? I never felt competitive with you. I generally don't feel competitive with people who I feel are genuinely talented, to be totally honest. I appreciate talented people. I appreciate the work they do and I enjoy watching talented people perform almost as much as I like performing. I usually only feel "competitive" with people who talk big, but can't walk the walk - and that's only because I am a know-it-all who likes to take it upon herself to put mistaken people with false egos in their place (I'm working on that). But you are very good. So that can't be the explanation.

I think we weren't better friends because, despite having the small community theatre circle in common, you had lived such a great deal of your life in Utah that you were pretty set in your circle of friends. By the time we met, I was married. That also could've been part of it. There's nothing like ending one's singleness that can throw a wrench in single friend connections. Also, I was going to BYU, and when I wasn't consumed with doing a show somewhere, I was very busy with school - I wanted OUT!

Once you were married to Stewart, we should have fixed all of that and double-dated and stuff. We SHOULD HAVE!

We did two shows together (Just CofE and Damn Yankees... right? Oh, wait. And "Quilters!" HA! I forgot about that show - what a weird show), so we really should've been closer. (Did we EVER have a SINGLE scene together?! I don't think we did! That's kind of funny)! And - in hindsight... I actually had quite a few classes with your now-husband, Stewart, before you guys were married, or even dating. He and I even had a scene or two together, if I recall correctly. (Yes. YES! It was an Ayckbourn scene! And he was BRILLIANT in it)! So - once you started dating we could have had even more opportunity to become better acquainted, you and I.

Weird.

Well, you could always move to California and we could get to changing that...

From Jean: "Where do you see yourself in 20 years?"

Oh, man.

If there's one thing I've learned in my short life, it's to stop trying to plan my life or project hopeful outcomes on it. There are definitely things I DESIRE to have occurred in the next two decades of my life. And there are things I THINK will most likely occur. And I generally judge the latter on the way I've lived my life up to this point and on my current priorities (which could easily change by the time I'm 50. Whoa. "50." Yikes).

In 20 years, I foresee us most likely not living in CA anymore (which saddens me a little). And I'm not sure why I feel that's the case... /shrug. BUT - I hope that, somewhere in that time frame, our mortgage is no longer underwater, especially because I would love for David to have the freedom to feel like he can look for employment elsewhere. He just, doesn't "love" his job. And I feel sad for him that that's the case.

Also, despite my advocacy for stay-at-home moms, once the last of our kids gets on that school bus, probably around the age of 7 or 8, I want to get work. This is a 2-fold desire: I want more money and I like working. And I want more money. I would like to teach performing arts in high school again. I feel like that's my niche' and where I really contribute the best and utilize my talents to their greatest extent.

Speaking of kids: I think I want 4. David thinks we want 3. At this rate, we'll only have 2. HOWEVER... in 20 years, I would like Malia to be temple-married to a super rad dude who appreciates her for all of her awesomeness. And I want to be a potential grandma. I said "potential." She can be pregnant, but I'd rather the kid wasn't married at 18. And CC will be ENGAGED to be married in the temple.

Did your hear that, girls?! Mommy said, "In. the. temple!"

And, most importantly, I plan to still be married to my wonderful husband. At this point, we'll most definitely be well on our way to being one of those couples where the woman is all cranky, bitter, and dominant, and the old guy just kind of sits there, taking it, just hoping for a brief moment of peace and quiet. Allbeit, an imperfect marriage, but a marriage in tact. But at 50 (still young) I'd like us to go to Italy, go on a cruise or two, and be preparing to go on a mission together... very possibly to Japan.

THAT would be very cool.

From Mandi: What are your views on homeschooling and the weirdness of its participants?

HA! Oh, Mandi. Seriously? Well, ok....

Homeschooling, I think, is awesome, if you can hack it. Me?! No. way. I've already begun to teach Malia piano lessons, and if there's something my mother told me that I've actually begun to see come to fruition, it's that mothers and daughters don't, necessarily, create a peaceful learning environment. What I mean is, my mom said that after a few months of trying to teach my older sister piano, the crying and the "taking things personal" got to a point where she had to ship her off to someone else once a week for her lessons. In fact, my little sister and I never learned from my mom. We got sent off immediately. So far, it's going ok with Malia. But I can see potential for problems the moment I may let up "Mommy" completely and go totally into "Teacher," that it could get ugly.

Thing is, I was a product of the public school system. And our schools were NOT top-of-the-line. We weren't churning out any scholars or Olympians over at the good ol' AVUSD. And that, alone, should motivate me to think I should be in charge of my kids' educations myself. Elementary school was fine. Junior high SUCKED. And I thoroughly enjoyed high school.

I know a lot of people who homeschool their kids. And I totally admire that. And I'm in awe of how they can even handle it (I'm talking 'bout you, Abby). RE: homeschooling itself? To each their own, I say.

RE: the afore-mentioned "weirdness?" Let me just say this: my piano teacher had 3 daughters about mine and my sisters' age. And she homeschooled them.

And they were a little.... "off."

What I mean is, sometimes [often] they said and did things that made me think, "wow, really?!" I mean, each family has it's own quirky dynamic. And even if parents teach their kids things like social graces, civility, and tact, the kids are still only learning it from the dynamic of their home. There is a quality of well-rounded behavior that can only come from interaction with other kids and other parents... and from being AWAY from one's parents for a fraction of the day. I know that homeschool programs have developed all these group outings and really awesome connections with other homeschooling families that can aide in all that. But...

Hm. Ok. How about this? When I was in the 2nd grade, my best friend moved. I had to start all over again. It was a huge lesson in patience, a willingness to allow other kids to take charge of a game so that they'd even ALLOW me to play with them, and withstanding some major name-calling. You just don't go through that kind of crap in homeschool You know, the tough social crap that makes or breaks us.

To be totally honest? I wish I could homeschool my kids simply for the fact that I am TERRIFIED of the stuff they're going to hear "out there." But I am going to do my best to
be at the crossroads" so I can be some sort of colander for filtering out the bad stuff and retaining the good.

Oh, and P.S. there are always major exceptions to all stereotypes. Always.

Dear Abb[ie]

You see what I did there? Anyway....

All of these questions come from Abbie. (And if anyone reads my blog who I DIDN'T meet while living in Wymount, then I apologize if, in any way, you are feeling ostracized). But, truth is... the BYU 148th Ward was probably the closest I'll ever get to having been part of a group of people who were nearly destined to become like the City of Enoch - not even by righteousness, so much as just plain awesomeness.

What is your all time favorite thing you've put in your mouth?

This is a hard question for me, because I am a big-time craver. And my cravings can't even be blamed on seasons or hormones. I just, randomly, NEED sugar or salt or carbs or spicy or.... you get the point. So, a lot of times I find comfort in just satiating that craving - it's an awful thing; I really do have an emotional connection to food. "Yikes" is written all over that.

I DO remember having an experience once when I took a bite of something and it was a gazillion times more heavenly than I had anticipated. When I taught at Lehi High School, at the end of the year, some of my students gave me gift cards to some local restaurants. Although P.F.Changs is not new, it was new-ish to Utah Valley, and we had been given a gift card for $50.

JACKPOT!

I LOVE when I have the financial freedom to actually order something OTHER than water with my dinner. AND an appetizer. AND a dessert. We were full. SO very full. But when asked if we wanted dessert, the excitement of being able to actually afford it, for once, overpowered the logic of stopping for the sake of our gastro-intestinal systems.

We ordered the "Great Wall of Chocolate."


Now, I must preface. I like chocolate. I like cake. But I am not really a fan of the combination. If I'm going to eat chocolate, I prefer it in a chewy candy form. And if I'm going to eat cake, I prefer the lighter flavors of vanilla, or even strawberry or lemon. Chocolate cake as a combination makes me feel like I need to drink a cow.

We ordered it anyway, because we could. And of course, we ordered it a la' mode (in place of the aforementioned cow).

When they brought it over, it was GINORMOUS. David and I were already full. We mentioned to the waiter that we'd probably need a box.

And then we took a bite.

I don't need to tell you too much about the experience other than that we didn't end up needing a take-home box, but that we did end up in severe pain for the majority of the night.

We haven't had it often since because the thing is 2000+ calories. No lie. And I fear a heart attack with each bite. But the layer of mini chocolate chips coating one side with the tangy raspberry sauce on the plate is just.... YUM!

The only other food experience I remember even comparing was when I was in NYC for BYU 's Senior Showcase, and I ordered a piece of marble cheesecake from some itty-bitty Italian dive near where we were performing. For one piece, it cost me $7, which seemed RIDICULOUS! Until I took a bite...

I wish I knew the name of that place.

Do you shower every day (because I don't)? How often do you shower? And what time do you shower, on average, during the day?

No. Nope. Uh-uh. I wish. I wish I had the luxury of showering every day. And I suppose I could squeeze it in by waking earlier (no thank you); or by always doing it during the girls' naps (too much to do); or in the evening once they've gone to bed (don't care enough).

I would say I shower 5 days out of 7. I have a really sensitive nose, and I don't know that I could live with myself if I showered less than that. I mean, I can smell ANYTHING. The only day I consistently shower, however, is Sunday morning. I always set my alarm 20 minutes earlier on Sundays so that I can get my shower in before anyone else needs it. (P.S. a lot of this is affected by the fact that my wonderful husband - whom I love dearly, mind you - is a hot water HOG! He showers SO long. And he's not showering the whole time. He's just STANDING there, soaking all the warm water up like some sort of selfish sponge).

My average shower schedule goes something like this:

M W F - I drop Malia off at pre-school and go on a social, often brisk, walk with CC in a stroller with a friend of mine who's daughter attends the same pre-school. I usually get home from that walk at about 10 AM. I'll plop CC in front of "Little Einsteins" or "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse," which will usually buy me about 20 minutes, and then run up for an incredibly short and efficient shower.

T Th - If we're having a slow morning and I'm not running the laundry or the dishwasher, I'll throw a shower in at around 10 or 10:30. I'd do it sooner, except, as mentioned before, I need hot water to rejuvenate itself after a certain "someone" depleted it.

Sat - I usually get breakfast for the girls and then once David wakes up and drags his tired self down for breakfast, I usually ask him to keep CC from breaking anything so I can shower before he does. This is usually at around 9 AM. I take Malia to her dance class and I usually grocery shop/run pre-Sabbath Day errands on this day, so I try to make sure I shower on Saturdays.

If I skip a day, it's usually Tuesday or Thursday because I didn't make myself stinky from a morning walk, and I have no necessary prior engagements. We usually do Disneyland on those days, and since I'm outdoors, I figure my stink is more likely to go unnoticed.

What's your favorite book?

I suppose I could go with the default and say "the scriptures," but then I'd be kissing up or showing off or whatever.

It is impossible to single out favorites, though, because it fluctuates and changes. And at one time in my life I was an avid reader (from about 2nd-8th grade, I snuck a flashlight so I could read way past my bedtime).

In the 5th grade, I loved "A Wrinkle in Time."

In junior high, it was "Little Women."


In high school, I went on an LDS fiction binge with Jack Weyland and Gerald Lund - i.e. "Charly" & "The Work and the Glory" series.

In college? I never had time to read - not for leisure, anyway. So I guess this was my favorite book:

Then, I started having babies, and all I had time to read were sleep books. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" is still my #1 choice.

Two years ago, I fell in LOVE with C.S. Lewis's "Mere Christianity."

And last year, I fell victim, unashamedly, to the "Twilight" series.

So I can't say I have a favorite. But I will admit something that many of you might gasp at. I just bought a Kindle last week in order to urge me to get back into my past life's habit of reading more often. I am 30 years old, and for the first time in my LIFE, am reading "Pride & Prejudice."

So it's my new favorite. :)

If you could have lunch with one celebrity, who would it be? Living, not dead. Ok, add a dead one, too.

This one's easy.

A tie between Harry Connick, Jr. and Jo, the Supernanny.


Dead?

I'll have to think on that.


How old were you when you had your first kiss?

16.
I promise.


What are you making for dinner tonight? Do you cook or is Dave the chef?

Boo. We're nearing the end of the week when I'm out of food and ideas, so my answer to this will be less impressive than it could be.

We're having spaghetti, fruit salad, & zuchinni & yellow squash. And I will be making it. I always make dinner. Dave gets home at about 5:30, just as I'm in the midst of it, and we eat at 6 PM. Like clockwork.

Ok, wait. I take it back. On Tuesdays I have piano students, so Dave is the chef (TRANSLATION: pizza night).

The Golden State and a State of Emergency

From Heather: "I would love to know how you like living in California?"

Like everything, CA has it's perks, but there are also some really frustrating things about it. Almost every pro has a justifying con, and vice versa.

I grew up in Southern California, so, for me? It's "home." I was born in Apple Valley, and, in my lifetime, my parents have moved twice: once, when I was 5, from one end of town to the other. And once, about 2 years ago, back to the other end of town. I never lived outside of the Golden State until I was 18 and moved to West Yellowstone, Montana to do summer stock. When I got there, it was April. I had just gone from this:



To this:

(those photos were LITERALLY taken days apart).

So, obviously, CA's weather is a HUGE bonus. Malia was born in Provo in the midst of a pretty crazy snowstorm. The bumpy ride home with a new C-section incision was not a picnic. And her being born in the middle of RSV season made it difficult to get outside and take in some Vitamin D with my screaming child. So, I don't miss the snow. I DO, however, miss the existence of 4 actual, distinguishable seasons. Our trees are so confused. We have autumn-colored leaves falling in January, and then they blossom into flowers weeks later, only to fall off the trees when a cold spell hits us in February. One of the hottest days of the year (and in decades) in CA last year, happened in, like, October.

We PAY for our sunshine, though. Sometimes I like to browse real estate and drool over the immense space we would have with the mortgage we pay if we lived anywhere else. California is painfully expensive in that regard, and we live in Orange County, which is almost exponentially worse. My older sister has a lovely home in the Midwest with quite a few bedrooms and bathrooms and a YARD! And we have an itty-bitty townhouse with one full bath... and we pay almost 3 times as much as she does. We could own a MANSION in Texas for what we pay here! Why do we live here then? Well - Dave got 3 job offers right out of school. One was in Oregon, but the offer wasn't much. One was for here, with decent pay and ok benefits. And one was for Hawaii (and we thought CA was expensive)! California just seemed the most logical (and I was excited to go back to a place I loved so much).

Also, sometimes I get frustrated with the fact that us stay-at-home moms are pretty few and far between. Even in the Church. And it's very hard to live off of a single income in the OC. In fact, the majority of stay-at-home moms I come across here are (oh gosh - how do I put this delicately?) either extremely wealthy -although you'd be amazed at how many kids I see with nannies at the park - or living off of the government. (neither of which applies to us). But we make it work. The benefit of having a job at ALL in this economy more than makes up for any financial complaints I'm tempted to make.

And that whole Prop 8 thing was (is) kind of stressful.

Although - the size of the Church here is a bonus. There are enough of us that we have nearby temples, geographically-convenient meetinghouses, and a decent social network. And there aren't so many of us here that I feel inundated by hypocrisy and judgement (which, I believe, to be common of any high concentration of any religion in any area).

The thing I miss MOST, though, living in CA and not elsewhere, is the inaccessibility of theatre for me to be a part of. I just haven't found a venue that supports my lifestyle as a Mommy and also as someone who prefers to avoid working on Sunday. And, in California, you're competing with people who are still pursuing it as a career and willing to give their right leg for an ensemble role (even at the community level). I can't compete with that.

BUT - with all the things that frustrate me about living here, I have to admit, you pretty much have whatever you want here. The beach, almost every store you've ever heard of, sight-seeing opportunities (although they usually cost), and of course DISNEYLAND. The whole "having-annual-passes-to-the-Happiest-Place-on-Earth" thing is a definite perk that does a pretty good job of evening the score on days when the negatives seem to pile up. We, literally, live 15-20 minutes away.

And as I mentioned before... it's "home."

From Connie: "Do you know how much the Lehi Encore Kids and parents love and appreciate you?"

Ok. For those of you who don't know - David and I were up in Seattle for our THIRD (yes, 3RD!) wedding reception in August of 2002, when I received a call from a director friend who taught drama at Lehi High School in Utah. She was calling to tell me that school had just started, and that the choir teacher just up and quit and that they were desperate for a replacement. In other words, would I be interested.

Thing is - I was still in school, pursuing a performance degree, no less. I was hardly qualified (at least, not on paper). She wanted me to apply so badly because I had just finished playing the lead in a production she directed, and on days when our music director wasn't able to be at rehearsal, she would have me run the music. She eventually preferred me to him and grew to really respect my talent. I told her I'd apply, but that I doubted they'd want me.

Long story short: They hired me. I took the job because a) we could use ANY sort of income, b) the principal had flattered me with "Of all the applicants, we liked you the most. Even above anyone with years of experience and an actual degree," and c) Choir had been my life in high school. I felt so bad that the teacher had up and left them after a decade of service in their school. What was her deal?! (basically - on the day she quit, she told her bosses she was deciding to go back to school to get her masters. Thing IS - she was already enrolled. She had applied earlier in the year! She had deceived everyone).

I wouldn't have cared so much about the deceptive way she'd gone about things EXCEPT for I had to live for MONTHS with both students and parents saying, "That's not the way SHE did things."

I'M. NOT. HER!

And to top it off, I was working a full-time teaching job, day in and day out, leading 4 choirs, one of which required extra rehearsals and tour preparation, teaching 2 general courses, and music directing the spring musical - all for subtitute pay. The principal had gone both to the state and the district to get me qualified for "emergency pay." You see, financially, the district had already budgeted to pay the previous teacher her salary. The money was there. HOWEVER - while the state approved it, the district (!@$#%$^!) wouldn't. But by the time that had been settled, I had been teaching there for 2 months. I couldn't bring myself to abandon them again.

It was a very emotionally taxing job. I was doing my very best to give these kids the education and experience I felt they needed, all the while dealing with small town prejudices and people who couldn't let go of how things had been done in the past.

HOWEVER - I tried my very best to make those kids see how much I loved music and teaching. Our age gap was small. Maybe too small. (I was 22 at the time). But I know music. And I like to think teaching is in my blood. And Connie? Despite the fact that I had a lot of enemies... I did know YOU appreciated me. And I did know SOME of the students were touched by my sacrifice for them.

But I still appreciate the reminders... :)

Also from Connie: "What could you say on here that would make awesome Dave leave you?"

HA! Nice try.

Polygamy & Favoritism

From Lisa: "What are your thoughts on the whole men-sealed-to-multiple-women-but-women-can-only-be-sealed-to-one deal?"

Honestly? I'm surprisingly apathetic...

Which is weird because I am a very strong-willed, opinionated, and jealous person (three things that pretty much would build a brick wall against the principle you've mentioned).

When I was in high school, I was a huge Jack Weyland fan. And one of the books I read around the time I was 16 was called "The Understudy." The book is a fictional account about an actor who is not LDS who is asked to play the Savior for an LDS film. Not surprisingly, as most Mormon fiction books go, he joins the Church. He falls in love with a Mormon widow who has a young son. One of the main themes in the book is the issues they have when discussing getting married. She doesn't want to be sealed to him because she is sealed to her dead husband. I remember being really annoyed at that time with the idea that women can only be sealed to one man only because it seemed unbalanced...

... NOT because I would want two husbands in the afterlife. I mean, who would actually WANT that? That is not a stress a person needs in the place of supposed eternal peace and happiness. And I don't think I know many men who DESIRE the opposite. Sure - there are selfish people in this world who enjoy the company of multiple partners, but I don't think those people want to commit to those multiples for ETERNITY (with the exception of these weird-os and this masochist).

It doesn't bother me, fortunately. I mean, I have no desire to have anyone but David in the next life. So, I'm okay without the option. Does it bother me that he DOES have the option? No - because I don't know that he'd want it either. Even if he did, I would like to think that my worldly faults of jealousy and insecurity would be more perfected in the hereafter. That, maybe, a greater eternal understanding of things would make me ok with it. Despite my somewhat feminist sensibilities, my bigmouth, and my middle-child-syndrome-need-for-justice-&-fairness, I've always been really ok with what can sometimes be perceived as an imbalance in the Church when it comes to genders. The Lord has His reasons for why men have certain responsibilities and blessings and why women have certain responsibilities and blessings. He has a greater and more perfect understanding of the principles that our mortal mental capacities tend to "wig out" on.

(but with 100% honesty, I'll admit: Dave knows darn WELL how "welcome" a 2nd wife would be in MY eternal mansion... just puttin' that out there).

From Ben: "Which family member do you love most?"

Peisch, you have issues. Let's just put that out there right now.

But I'll bite.

So, the answer to this question has many facets. First of all: Define family. Do you mean all extended, in-laws included? Do you mean blood-relation only? Do you mean pre-married immediate (i.e. my parents & siblings)? Or do you mean current immediate (spouse & children)?

If we're talking the great extension, it would be MUCH easier to answer the opposite: Who I "love" least. But let's not go there...

So I'm going to go with my pre-married immediate. To answer this question, I have to reference times in my life. I'd say, from the moment I was born, until I was about 10, it was, obviously, my mom. From about 10-14, I hated them all. But I hated myself, too, so it's nothing personal. When I entered high school, my older sister and I became BFFs (after a decade and a 1/2 of pretty much hating each other). Just after high school, my brother returned from his mission and he and I had a summer where we were almost inseparable. When my little sister became a mommy for the first time, we did a lot of talking and bonding over the role of motherhood. Sometimes my oldest brother is my favorite because he means the least amount of drama. And sometimes my dad is my favorite because he's.... indescribable.

In my immediate family, I can tell you who was my LEAST favorite yesterday: Cecily. But she's my favorite today, so...

I guess the answer to this question apparently depends on the day of the week.

And whoever hasn't recently hurt my pride.

Or whoever is currently crying the least.