God Cherishes the Stay-at-home Mom

I've been pondering this a lot lately; especially since we've been living in California for over a year now, and it's so fiercely expensive. I may offend people, but I don't care anymore.

It is pure evidence that Satan wants to attack the family unit more then anything when mothers are no longer staying home. I am not commenting on the people who need 2 incomes in order to survive. I am more then empathetic to that situation. It's those who say, "Well, we couldn't afford our home if I didn't work," and they live in a 3,000 sq. foot home with a pool and a 3-car-garage! MOVE! Is it really more crucial to have a better home then the Jones' then it is for your children to be loved more then the Jones' kids?!

Anyone who knows me is more then aware of my desire to be out in the work force, whether it be performing or teaching. I feel as if I am a fairly creative person who, when given the outlet, explodes with enthusiasm to explore it. People who are close to me have heard over and over again how close I was to getting my dream job when we first moved here to CA. It was LITERALLY my dream job. And it paid well. And I could have stayed home with Malia during the day and then traded shifts with David as I worked nights. But as I thought about it, I imagined our daughter remembering her early years without ever seeing Mommy and Daddy at the same time. Not to mention the fact that it wouldn't allow for the possibilty of more children for a long time. So, I turned my back on the opportunity. And for a while, I was bitter. I felt like I had made an incredible sacrifice and I questioned it for a long time.

A few months ago, I pursued my dreams again. This time, instead of being offered the opportunity, I was flat-out rejected. I was concerned with how I would take it if that were to happen. I don't handle rejection well when it comes to my talents because, for the most part, I am rarely rejected. This rejection brought me an overwhelming feeling of relief. The moment they said "thank you" and I turned to walk to the car and head home, I was overcome with a calm, peaceful feeling. Something inside me said, "What are you doing? You HAVE a job. And it's the most rewarding and fulfilling job you will ever do. Sure it's hard. Sure it's humbling. Sure, it's pretty much the most unglamourous job a woman could have. But it's amazing and so worth it. And very few people realize this. How sad for them." As I held Malia that night before putting her to bed, I sobbed. But it was a happy cry.

All of my life, I wanted to be a star. I assumed I would be a mother, but that thought was put on the backburner because singing on Broadway consumed my thoughts constantly.

Motherhood came instead.

I have been given many opportunities to pursue the Broadway Dream and have called it a "sacrifice" when I turn it down. But it's not a sacrifice, because I got the better end of the deal.

So many smart, beautiful, gifted women are wasting their smarts, beauty, and talents on the rest of the world while their children do not get to reap the benefits of their strengths. They get the "I'm too tired. I've had a long day" Mommy instead. Dr. Laura says that Daycare will not love your children. They will take care of them. They will feed them and give them naps, sure. But they will not love them. If a mother thinks nothing of sending her children to daycare so that they can afford to have the best hybrid SUV money can buy, then they do not think their child deserves love. And that is not the case with any child. They all deserve to be loved.

It's important to remember that our children were first God's children. So, in truth, they are not really ours. They are His. They are on loan. And we are in agreement with Him to not only return them in one piece, but to do all the things necessary to return them at all. That requires that we love them and teach them about Him. And no nanny, babysitter, or daycare can really do that. Only a Mommy can truly help a child learn about their Heavenly Father.

But what irritates me the most is when people ask what I do for a living, and when I say "stay-at-home mom," they dismiss me. DON'T DISMISS ME! What I do is more important then any amount of lawyering or fashion designing or managing that you will EVER do. I may not be getting paid for it in salary, but the giggles, hugs, and "I love you"s I get on a daily basis are worth more then anything you could imagine.

What I do matters. Don't you DARE make me feel otherwise. There are not enough of us in this world anymore. If my family has to eat peanut butter and saltines for 10 years just so that I can be home with my children, so be it. You can drive your fancy cars, live in your big houses, and look down your perfect plastic noses at me all you want. But that just makes you ignorant. You are not worth enough of my time for me to help you realize I am much wealthier then you will ever be!

All Hallow's Eve

It is so much more fun to celebrate holidays when your kids are getting old enough to find excitement in them. It was a little bit difficult when all was said and done, to keep Malia from begging for candy for about 3 days after her first trick-or-treat experience, but she forgot soon enough (thank heavens). Over the last month she has become enamoured with pumpkins and would scream, "wunkin!" every time we passed by anything that even sort of resembled one. And, I'm not sure exactly where she had picked it up, but whenever she saw a skeleton, or a skull and crossbones (which are everywhere nowadays with the new pirate fad), she would point and say, "Mean guy. Raaaawr." It was hilarious.

We went to a Pumpkin Patch for Family Home Evening a few weeks ago. It shocked me how overcome with joy it made me when I was walking around, holding the hands of my husband and child. It was a quiet and simple peace and I was so happy that I am in the situation I am right now. It really made it evident that being with family is a gift from God. I was a little overwhelmed, and almost embarassed by the strength of the emotion as I walked around this ridiculous little mini-amusement park. Watching your child laugh and get excited at everything she sees, and seeing her father sweep her up, causing her to squeal with joy, is so rewarding. It makes all the sacrifices more then worth it.

It took some severe begging and pleading, but David agreed to dress up as a family for Halloween. I was so excited! However, I had to be willing to let David forgo the tights/leggings... maybe next time. We were so cute as Peter Pan, Wendy, and Tinkerbell! I know that Halloween is supposed to be about gruesome and scary things, but I don't care. We were a part of a very small group of adults who actually dressed up at the ward party. I'm sorry, but in my opinion, you are never too cool to dress up!

Party poopers.