A Decision Made With His Aide

*Ha ha. I just realized my title rhymes.

I enjoy taking Malia to her dance class every Saturday morning for two reasons: the obvious, being that I love watching my adorable daughter run around in a tutu. The other is the fact that I get to enjoy adult conversation with the other moms. These women, although, come to think of it, I probably don't know any of their last names, have become a welcome social aspect of my week. We come from all different walks of life. Of the 5 of us who generally dominate the conversation, 2 of us are Caucasian, 1 is Hispanic, 1 is African American, and the other is Indian. 3 of them attend a popular Christian Church in the area. The other is an ex-Hindu who now claims to be agnostic. And I, of course, am LDS.

Aside from that, the other thing that I am also alone in is being a stay-at-home mom.

We talk about this a lot. Aside from "the agnostic" who absolutely loves her job, we all want to stay home with our kids, but I am the only one who claims to be able to make it work financially. ("making it work" is obviously a subjective perspective, of course).

A few weeks ago, we were talking about our career paths, and when it came to my "back story," the women seemed a little skeptical. I could sense they weren't quite sure a person would choose staying home over understudying the lead in a hit Broadway show in L.A. It also didn't help that I weigh (fill-in-the-blank) lbs. more now than I did at the peak of my performing age. And it also doesn't help that you're lucky if I even get out with any chap stick on, more or less, looking anything glamorous, to say the least.

People with talent... I should say, people with the talent to perform (everyone has talent of some kind), generally look a certain way, I've found. They usually keep up with the fashion trends; stay in good shape; overall, they keep their outward appearances appealing to the eye of a possible audience. Needless to say, on my average day, I just don't look the part.

But that's not the point of all of this (someday I will learn to mince less words... no I won't. Who am I kidding)?!

Last week, after a month of their prodding, I finally sang for them a small little ditty. And yes, it does feel weird to sing in intimate settings in front of a small group of friends. I much prefer a stage in front of thousands... that's normal, I promise.

They sat quietly for a minute and then one of them said, "Wow. I didn't expect you to be that good."

I was embarrassed, but pleasantly flattered.

Then another said, "Seriously. Why aren't you out there trying to get rich and famous? Your kids will understand someday. You don't want to sacrifice all that. I'm sure there's a way you can do both. "

I told them I knew I was doing what was best for my girls and that I was in the right place for me right now.

But, let me tell you - as often as I feel a little bummed once in a while about the supposed "sacrifice" I'm making to be home with my girls, I am grateful 1,000,000,000,000 times over that I have been blessed with the peace of mind knowing I am doing what's right for my babies. I don't credit myself with that... I don't profess to be some awesome woman who is totally at peace with her decisions. Not at all.

I credit God entirely. It's almost as if He has given some sort of shield to my heart so that, at those moments when certain questions arise again and again (as they always do), I am always overwhelmed with the peace I feel for making the decisions I've made up to this point. I thank God He has blessed me with that, because there ain't no way I'd be able to trudge through this without His calming influence.

Thanks for that , God.

Oh, and P.S. Thanks for these guys.

A Little Good News

It's so refreshing, once in a while, when I do my daily news reading on the Internet in the morning, just before Malia wakes up, to find stories like this. They're not always in there, but when they are, they warm my heart.

Not only is this man adorable, but he truly understands the concept of making life's lemons into sweet lemonade, and then giving it away for free. I've had it with people who have never even left the country having such strong, bitter opinions about some things. This man has been "there" & back and knows what "it" means. God Bless him.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/09/19/heroes.walt.peters/index.html

Dear Malia...

Dear Lili-bug,

Today you used the potty! The joy that this brought to the depths of my soul was shocking. I've heard from other mothers that this would be the case... and I know the road doesn't end here (you are FAR! from "potty-trained"... once does not a new trick make), but this is quite an accomplishment, especially for you. From birth, your digestive system has not been your best friend. Pooping is something that has always been difficult for you (and I can just picture your beautiful face glowing with embarrassment as you read this 10 years from now). Because of this, our attempts at beginning the potty-training process have all failed. You are almost scared of it.

We've purchased a little seat to make that big hole not seem so daunting. It even has little yellow duckies on it and bubbles that glow-in-the-dark. We've purchased a hot pink step-stool to make it so that your feet have somewhere to plant themselves and not dangle in the abyss. There is even a large jar of bribery M&Ms sitting right next to the toilet (which I'm sure has been the cause of great confusion of any recent guests). I've promised you dance lessons, which you've been asking for daily, once you master this crucial step into being socially acceptable. You have a "potty" in your own room that sings songs to you, lights up, and praises and applauds you when you push the flusher. None of these things have made using the potty appealing to you.

However, today, you were standing in the shower, playing with your toys as I got dressed when, out-of-nowhere, I heard the most magnificent 7 words ever. "Mommy! I need to use the toilet!" After pinching myself, I ran to your aid to see your soaking little nekkid body in the shower with your hand covering your little places and a look of concern on your face. I hoisted you up as quickly as my bulging belly would allow and set you on the toilet. And there, Niagara occurred! The joy that tinkling sound caused in my heart was insurpassable. All of this without any of those gimmicks we've spent far too much money on! After I helped you wipe, flush, & wash your hands, I gave you 2 M&Ms and a big hug. I told you how proud I was and the grin on your face was priceless. It was almost as if you were more proud for making me proud than I was of you. These are the moments that make the bond of a mother & child unbreakable... until you're 15 and hate me.


On Sunday, your father had a Priesthood meeting, and to pass the time, you & I took a walk. The moon was out and full and looked larger than usual. As we walked, hand-in-hand, you shouted with excitement, "Look at the moon, Mommy! It's so BLUE-tiful!" You made this statement at least a dozen times throughout our walk, with each time full of as much vigor as the last. It was inspiring to me. The simple things. You appreciate them in a way I've forgotten how. Thanks for the reminder, kiddo. I'm learning a lot from you.

You also were convinced that the moon is a living, breathing friend of yours. You shouted out to it, "C'mon, moon. Wanna' hang out with us?! It be fun!" I had to explain to you that the moon had an obligation to light up the night sky and that maybe it would play with you later. I am finding my poor excuses are working less as you get smarter, as you woke up the next morning and asked me, "Will the moon hang out with us today?" I just smiled. I was too tired to have a clever explanation.


Whenever we are in the car, you ask me over & over, "What're you gonna' DO today, Mama? A' gonna' DO today?" I usually tell you, but it doesn't stifle the questioning. Five minutes later, you ask again. The only time my answer seems to suffice enough for you to stop asking is when the answer pleases you. "We're going to play at Disneyland, Malia." "Yes. We are!" And then a lovely, peaceful quiet the rest of the way... until we pull into the parking structure, which usually then elicits run-on, yet somehow incomplete, sentences about which rides you intend to go on. You've definitely inherited that ability from me. You begin to speak, but it's as if your mouth is going faster than your brain, and you say the first few words to your sentence about 1/2 a dozen times before you figure out what it is you were trying to say. Sometimes you get distracted by another thought and your sentence detours in that direction. It drives your father nuts as he now lives with 2 women he can't communicate with.


I've noticed lately that most children your age are not very obedient. You are, and I am blissfully aware and grateful for this. When we are out & about, I will hear a parent shout demands and warnings to their children multiple times as the child completely ignores them and continues on their merry way. Not only do my commands usually immediately stop you in your place, but if you didn't hear what I said, you will turn to me, squint one eye, and pull up the corner of your mouth on that same side, which gives you a very adult-like perplexed expression, and say, "Wha' you saying, Mama?" Then I am given the chance to repeat myself and you obey. Honestly, could it get any easier?

Whenever I make a little noise and grab my belly in reaction to being kicked by your future (and incredibly powerful) little sister you will say to me, "Your belly hurts, Mama? 'ecause baby sister is kicking your belly. Be nice, baby sister!" I know the day will come when the 2 of you will be in cahoots against me, so for now, I appreciate your concern more than you know.

Love, Mommy

Ok, seriously? This kid.

This video was posted on my family's private blog. It was taken by my little sister, Tina, at my sister Cindy's wedding reception this last August. She does these faces on command. There are actually a few more, but I wasn't around to call them out and Tina was just going by what she'd remembered she'd seen. This kid, I tell you... is a HAM!



P.S. If you're wondering, that is a piece of gum in her mouth.

We're So GLAD When Daddy is Home!

I know we go to Disneyland so frequently over here that it probably seems pointless to actually document our experiences there once in a while. But it's not every day that Daddy gets a day off from work and can come with us. Thus, more pictures can be taken and we make more of a day of it versus our usual 1-2 hour jaunt over. So for Labor Day, we laboriously drove the 15 minutes to Disneyland and headed into the park for a little bit of family fun time. (WARNING: There are going to be a lot of pictures because I like them all - so run now or forever hold your peace).

Malia is so finicky about the characters at the park. Some days, she wants absolutely nothing to do with them. Other days, she wants to wait in a 20-minute line just to give them a hi-5. This day it was kind of off & on. Fortunately - we didn't have to wait in a line for her to "I wanna' hi-5" Chip. It was kind of a hit-&-run experience.

Pluto got all the action this time around. Maybe it's because she loves him. Maybe it's because his nose sticks out an extra 3 feet. Maybe it's because Mommy stood there with the camera shouting like a lunatic, "Kiss his nose! Kiss his nose!"

The one picture that I'm in. It was so muggy and warm that I was growing increasingly uncomfortably pregnant and pretty much avoided the camera after this point so that there would not be permanent proof of my miserable state.

Besides - David obviously poses much more entertaining...ly... than I do. Can we say possible predictions for the future? If Malia got anything from her Mommy, it's being a good offensive, er, I mean, DE-fensive driver...

We've reached a milestone! Malia was finally officially tall enough to go on her first roller coaster! She was so excited (I was probably more excited for her, but whatever). I just wish I could've gone with her. Darn "no expectant mothers" warning.

There were so many characters out this day. maybe because it was Labor Day so they anticipated large crowds. (It actually wasn't too bad... for Disneyland). But Malia had been asking "Where's Minnie Mouse?" ever since entering the park. We were fortunate enough to run into her within an hour. Malia is going to be Minnie for Halloween and has recently decided Minnie is her most favorite thing in the whole world because of it.

We went through Mickey & Minnie's homes for a little bit of AC, and this was the first time we actually decided to go see Mickey at the end because there was hardly a line. The family in front of us was ticking Mickey off. They were pushing and shoving and yelling... and even with that big ol' head, you could read in MM's body language that he was. not. coping. I'm always such a beaming proud mommy when Malia goes to see the characters because she is always polite and waits her turn and is slightly hesitant so they reach out to her and she runs to hug them. You can tell they just love her. Mickey stepped down to give her a big hug and didn't seem to want to let her go... probably out of fear of the next 100 possible hooligans he'd be encountering that day. Poor dude.
Malia wanted to "Go on the hodda coastah again!" so Daddy obliged. They got the front car this time which made it possible to get this cool picture. Dave was being such a good sport, acting like it was the best ride he'd ever been on.

But more exciting then that? Turns out you only have to be be 35" to ride the Matterhorn! So, yes. The wonderful parents we are, we sent Malia on a fast-winding, monster-riddled, dark, and scary mountain! David said she handled it really well. About 1/2 way through, she mentioned to him, "I'm done now. Ok, I'm done." But he said she never screamed or cried... just held on to his hands for dear life. She was such a trooper!
After we came home for Malia's nap, we then dropped her off at a friend's house who owed us a favor and David and I FINALLY got to see:

It was so good! He's my new favorite superhero based on this movie alone. Brilliantly done, this film. I'm a sucker for a good action movie that actually has phenomenal acting and a 1/2-way decent plot. So worth the $16 (thank heavens we went before 6 PM... or it would've cost more)!

Dear Malia...

DISCLAIMER

I've decided to steal this idea from my friend Liz, who does this on her blog for her little boy, because I think it's an ingenious way to keep memories... for as terrible as I am at journal-keeping, blogging is slowly mending that.

Dear Lili-bug:

There comes a point in every mother's life where she finds that the one thing she had all the answers to, she no longer does. As I once considered myself the unofficial sleep expert, you have now come to prove that you can challenge me beyond any of my prior knowledge. You have gone from being the most wonderful little sleeper (i.e. I close the door and never hear a peep until I decide it's time for sleep to be done) to now letting me know exactly how things will be done. Just as I was beginning the great debate of whether or not to move you to a "big-girl bed" because my gradually expanding belly was beginning to make bending over a crib a daunting daily task, you have come to remind me that there is nothing wrong with the brilliance of a "cage" that you cannot escape without my aid. Otherwise, I fear your father and I would be getting no sleep at this point. In the past, when we'd lay you down at night, we'd hand you your blanket, turn out the light, shut the door, and you were banned from our presence until morning... which you were once fine with. Now, you call out to me the moment the door closes, asking me to "Fixed it. Fixed my blankie, please!" or "I wanna' lay on my tummy!" or "I'm done sleeping!" (the latter being my personal favorite). Naps were my sanctuary, as they were still perfect... until yesterday. You have officially begun playing the "I need Mommy!" game for those, as well. All of this happening at increments of 10 minutes for a good 1/2-hour to 45 minutes. I wonder if this is your way of telling me you need less sleep now, which I'm aware was inevitable. I guess I was just hoping that wouldn't happen until your little sister was already born and sleeping through the night.
You are already quite the little actress. We took you to an acting school the other day, just out of curiosity, and the owner/director wanted to enroll you so badly that she was even willing to offer you a partial scholarship into her VIP program for 1/2 price! (only a million dollars instead of a billion)! While you father and I appreciated having our instincts about you validated, we decided we could probably teach you anything they could and more. You already say and do whatever we ask as long as there is an audience present ("Dance, monkey! Dance!"). You love applause to the point that you squeal with delight whenever it's given. You've even mastered "bowing." You have absolutely no inhibitions with strangers of all ages and often frighten small children with your lack of the concept of personal space. You look at me in shock when you've introduced yourself nose-to-nose to another child only to receive a smack or a shove. It breaks my heart because I see the betrayal in your face as you try to register why your approach has gone unappreciated. We'll have to cover all of these social graces before grade school, I think.
Now that Mommy's annual Disneyland pass is no longer blocked because the summer is... sort of.. over, it's hard to go a day without you bringing up the possibility of going. I never thought someone could love the place more than I do. However, it's a much more difficult trek now that I'm getting awkward and you are getting bigger. The heat doesn't help. Last night we were able to convince Daddy to go for FHE. That made it so much better as he did most of the carrying when you were too distracted for us to get through the crowds at a desired pace. The best part of the night was watching you on your Daddy's shoulders as you frantically and desperately waved for acknowledgement from Tinkerbell in the parade as it passed.

Everything is "beautiful" to you these days. "Look at the giant moon, Mommy. It's so beautiful." "See those cars? They are beautiful!" "Oh, Mommy, a fly, see? It's so beautiful!"

Your new thing is imitation. Well - I shouldn't say "new"... I've been having to watch what I say for almost 2 years now. But the other day, as we were pulling through a McD's drive-thru, I opened your window as well as mine (it seems to keep you more entertained) and as I ordered, you repeated everything I said to the intercom in as loud a voice as possible. Fortunately, it didn't confuse the order.

You really have picked up being polite quite well, which amazes me, because I've never considered myself as good at that as I'd like to be, myself. Your "pleases" and "thank yous" come out with ease and you are also very good at saying, "Oops, sorry. Excuse me" when you accidentally bump into a stranger in public. I beam with pride as the stranger acknowledges you and smiles, impressed with what a little lady you are.
I purchased your Halloween costume already. I know it's not even September, but last year, it took me forever to find the Tinkerbell costume I wanted in the right size because people pick away at them so quickly. When I found they had exactly only one in your size yesterday, I snagged it! You have pretty much been wearing it ever since. I have to make you take it off when we go places, because it does need to last at least 2 months from now. Your favorite accessory are the gloves. You've been saying, "I'll be Minnie Mouse for Halloween!" every morning for about 2 weeks now. "And Daddy be Mickey and Mommy be Pluto!" You've also begun "casting" other family members. Yesterday you decided that Grandma will be Donald and Grandpa will be Goofy. Good luck convincing them. Although, you're such a charmer, I've no doubt you'll get farther than anyone else ever has...

Love, Mommy

When Trials Become Blessings

Last night, I received a phone call from a newspaper reporter from my podunk hometown. Apparently, 3 of the 15 finalists for this "Wannabe Wicked" competition I'm doing are all from Apple Valley (where I grew up). The other 2 girls still live there. As he was asking me how I got involved in the competition, I was reminded once again of my experience with the show 2 years ago, when I was called back for Elphaba multiple times and found myself turning down any possible "opportunity" for the sake of being a mom to my wonderful Malia.

Some moms probably could've done both.

I am not one of those moms. Here's why -

Colic.

Colic. Colic. Colic.

Malia has been a joy to my life for 2 years now. But... she's 2 and a 1/2. There is a 1/2 a year of her life, at the beginning, where "joy" was the last thing I would've used to describe her. Harsh? Yeah - I know. But until/unless you've been there, you can't really understand.

But this post isn't about how hard colic made my life. I mean, I've dragged that through the mud and back... a few times. Besides, I don't think I need to talk about how crazy it was when pictures can be worth a thousand words:




Ah, the memories...

Last night as I was laying in bed, wide awake due to a wonderful head cold I've recently come down with and baby kicking me like Jackie Chan (so I had some chocolate... so what?) I was thinking back on how well Heavenly Father knows us. His allowing me to go through colic for as long as it was and as severe as Malia's case truly was, well, let's just say He knew exactly what I'd be learning from it.

I've decided to share the amazing blessings that came from the most tramautizing period of my life:

*I learned selflessness. My life was no longer about me. Of course, all mothers learn this lesson fairly quickly... but I think I was given the AP night school accelerated version of the class. All I wanted was to figure out how to improve Malia's life. My life was no longer a priority.

*David & I learned humility. It's amazing the horrendous things you are willing to say to someone you love when you have to do it at 3 in the morning in a voice loud enough to be heard over blood-curdling infant cries. We said sorry to each other... a lot.

*Being willing to apologize to a child. The multiple times I found myself apologizing to Malia for "letting her cry" and for looking at her with disdain and for desiring to physically do things (which I never did, mind you) were very enlightening to me as a parent. I hope I hold onto that perspective as she gets older. I want to be the kind of parent who is willing to step down from my place in order to say I'm sorry when it's necessary. I think children deserve that kind of honesty & humilty from a parent.

*Repentance. To this day I am still apologizing to God for the things I said to him in the wee hours of the night in my deepest, darkest anguish. But, the plus-side is... I think all the practice is making me good at it.

*Understanding what my purpose is. I had every intention of being a Broadway star. Even after Malia was born, I've pursued things briefly here & there. But I am always brought back to "ground zero," which is my little family. No amount of applause or fame could possibly compare to the fulfillment of being needed by my husband and child. There are days I lose that perspective, but I'll be darned if I don't always know it somewhere in the depths of my soul. It is so much better. I don't see it as a sacrifice at all... because I definitely have the better end of the deal. I am a wife & mother. Best. jobs. ever.

*I had to learn to take help. At this point, I want to give a shout-out to the most awesome ladies of the BEST ward in the UNIVERSE... Relief Society ladies of BYU 148th Wymount Ward 2005!!! Can I just say, they took my bitter rantings like a grain of salt. PLUS - they passed around a paper every week where they would sign up to take Malia for one hour every day so that I could find some semblance of peace in my life. I'm touched by it even just thinking about it, now. Those phenomenal sisters looked past my rugged, stubborn exterior and saw a desperate woman in need... a woman who is terrible at allowing people to help her do anything. I've always been far too independent for my own good. They wouldn't take no for an answer. Same time every day, a new sister would show up at my door and whisk the screaming child away. An hour later, they'd bring her back, Malia screaming at the top of her lungs, and the looks of pure apology on their faces were priceless. But they gave me a chance to miss my daughter. That one hour a day, I was given a chance to realize I did actually love her.

God really does know us...

I'm a Proud Mama... whatuvit?!

I had some pictures here & there of Malia that I was organizing through on my computer and I just wanted to share. There's no rhyme or reason to them other than that I feel like I have the most beautiful, amazing child ever! And while I do have a multitude of blessings, she is, by far, one of the greatest.

Last Easter, Malia received a very large package from her Grandpa filled with toys and candy... guess which part she liked the best?

Malia makes faces "on demand." I swear, it's true. The one above is her "sad face." She never holds the others long enough for me to get a good picture of them. One of these days....

The messier, the better it tastes, right?

Malia wanted to help me find our way through Disneyland... although, we've been there enough. She just likes to always take a map. /shrug

Malia at lunch at Downtown Disney after seeing her first movie, Wall*E, in the theatres. This is her response to, "Did you like the movie?" She's a total ham; I love it.

Playing "Pirates" with Grandma at Red Robin. She makes this face and says "Arrrrrrrrrrr!" Although, she struggles with the letter R, so the sound coming out is more like, "Awwwwwwwwww."

Trying on Daddy's "silly hat" from Japan.

"...while few human challenges are greater than that of being good parents, few opportunities offer greater potential for joy”
*President James E. Faust*

The Trip

Highlights of our trip (good & bad):

*Poor David stayed up until 4 AM tying up loose ends for work during our stop in Apple Valley on the first night.

*Stopping at Jan's house for Malia's nap! It was so much fun catching up with a dear friend and talking about shows of the past and our ideals of the future of our perfmorming lives. We've missed her. And she accidentally taught Malia her first swear word. Plus, David got to take a nap, too... bless his heart.

*Malia was really good about being stuck in the car. Watching "A Bug's Life" about 4 times probably helped. Also, me climbing into the backseat to give her my undivided attention didn't hurt either. Oh, and constant snacks... a God-send.

*Locking our keys in the car at a Cedar City gas station. Funny story... kind of. Depending on which of us you ask. I'll share it some time.

*Tina's dog tried to violate Malia. It was traumatizing at the time, but funny, now that we look back on it. Malia probably couldn't have cared less.

*Cafe' RIO!!!!! I had a list of places I was hoping to eat at while in Utah. This was the only one I had a chance for... but also the most important. YUM! And I only needed a TUMS for about 2 hours or so. (*grumble* pregnancy heartburn *grumble*)

*Observation: Utah gives me really chapped lips and my nose was always full of boogers. I didn't remember noticing that while I lived there... but it was driving me crazy during this trip! I borrowed chapstick from so many people. Who knows what kind of and how many diseases have now been spread.

*David gave Malia Hawaiian Punch in an open cup while she was wearing white pants... did he really think that would work? Really? Speaking of which, why did I not take any pictures the whole time I was there?!!

*David got some NASTY blisters on his back from his grandparents hot tub. They look painful. Like, open-wound-burn-blister painful. Not quite sure what to do for them...

*The wedding, of course. So awesome to be in the SLC temple with all of my siblings, their spouses, and my parents. When I got married, Tina couldn't attend because she was too young. No one was missing this time. AWE-some. And my Uncle Kent did the sealing... he has sealed all 3 of us girls, now. Very cool. He always says the most awesome things.

*Malia, the friendliest, sweetest, most outgoing & social child you could ever meet pretty much lost any semblance of herself for the entirety of the wedding day (which means I sorta', kinda' did, too). It had been 4 days since she'd even pooped, she hadn't been sleeping well, I forgot to pack her a lunch for the time we were at the temple so she ate 2 hours late, and then I had to discipline her for biting her cousin. My child has NEVER been a biter. I think she's crying in every. single. picture. Poor thing. It was not her best day.

*Cindy's hair wasn't 1/2 bad considering I just looked at some pictures on the internet and hoped for the best. I'm no professional, but I think she looked gorgeous... and I think I lost part of my fingernail in her hair. They're not fake or anything... it just cracked and then broke off. (Shhhhhhhhh - don't tell).

*I think I looked silly in my dress at the reception. I love the dress... but when I put it on that morning, I looked like I was concealing a squashed cantaloupe. I mean, who CHOOSES to wear a form-fitting get-up when almost 5 months preggers? Yes, folks. Me.

*Family, family, family. Usually I get sick of too much of them at one time. But it's been too long, so I definitely loved it. And they gushed over Malia, which I approve of, cause she rules.

*Malia pooped a TON on Sunday! (maybe quite literally a ton). HALLELUJAH! We finally had our little angel back after 3 days because of it.
P.S. Prune juice might make your poop turn green. Just sayin'.

*Playing Phase 10 with David's grandparents the last night until way too late. YIKES! But that cheesecake was soooooooo good!

*The majority of any drama occurring over the 4-day chaos was not caused by me! Quite possibly a family first. I'm all growed up.

*The girl at McDonald's in Beaver, UT saying, "You're talking to me like I'm slow or something!" at the drive-thru. We left and decided to go to Wendy's. I think I'll make a call and get her fired, maybe...

*Trying to get Malia to fall asleep in the car as we finished the last stretch of our drive home late last night. The kid was yawning and rubbing her eyes, she was in her PJs, in the dark, snuggling her blankie, but she just kept looking at me with wide eyes and a silly grin. THIS is why I will not share a bed with my children after they are 4 months old. GO TO BED, KID!

Overall - it was a success.... I'm exhausted... but that means it was a success, right?

The Rumor Is...

... we'll be having another girl!

Basically, the technician couldn't find any "boy parts" - and even with a lot of smooshing and pushing, we just couldn't get her to uncross her legs. (wonderful - I'm having another stubborn girl... just what this family needs). But, the technician felt that there were a few times she did see what could almost undeniably make it a girl.

This morning as I was telling my sister we were going in for an anatomy scan today, she asked me what I thought it was. I said I had no idea, that I'd been unintentionally referring to it as a "he," but that my gut said it was a girl. As we drove to our appointment, David said, out-of-the-blue, that he'd been feeling like it was a girl. So, we're pretty much counting on it.

The technician pointed some things out that told her she was a girl, and I could see it, so there you have it! In fact, we're so sure we have no intentions on there being any surprise of it being anything otherwise (i.e. I will be painting the nursery a feminine color next week - no turning back now)!

Of course, there was a tiny part of us hoping for a boy, if only for the sake of "balancing" out our little family. But I did always want a sister for Malia, and now they will be close in age, and that's just awesome, in my opinion.

This time around we even got to record it onto a VHS, which is way cool! We'll have to take it in somewhere and have a DVD made. So, for now, settle for some really awesome pictures. The technician said she was really "photogenic," which basically meant that the fluid levels were good and that she was being cooperative for the most part. 10 fingers & toes. A beautiful heart. A fully developed brain. A healthy spine. We couldn't be happier!

Isn't she pretty?!!

*proud mama*

Catching Up

Ok, so I guess some things are going on and my life is a little bit hectic right now, and apparently, I haven't blogged in a while. I didn't realize people cared that much until I started getting e-mails saying, "Um... what happened?!" So, this'll be one of those "Drive-by blogs," where I just throw a ton of random information your way.

David and I celebrated our 6th Wedding Anniversary a month ago, and my mom came down to watch Malia so we could go to the temple. It's a tradition of ours to do sealings on (or as closed to) our anniversary every year. The only year we "missed" the tradition was last year, but that was because L.A. traffic was so bad that the temple wasn't doing anymore sealing sessions. It was too late at night and and so we had to do a different ordinance. It still kind of counts. Here are a couple of pictures from the day:

This is Malia in front of the Newport Beach Temple, taking her "baby" for a walk.

Malia felt it was necessary to drink both drinks at the same time just because the waitress had given her 2.

Malia actually took this picture of us herself.... no lie!

As far as "Wannabe Wicked" is concerned: I had to perform first (that sucks), but I did get picked to be a finalist which basically means I will be performing again on August 20th, and I will be competing against finalists that were chosen on other nights. I tried uploading the video, but I'm guessing it's just too huge....?

Next week we should be finding out what the gender of Peanut Nutter is. That's exciting. Of course a boy would be nice in order to even things out, but we wanted a boy last time and ended up with a girl and couldn't be happier. So whatever God sends, he sends... as long as it's healthy. We'll try to keep you updated.

In 2 weeks we'll be taking our first road trip with a toddler (YIKES!) because we're heading up to Utah for my sister, Cindy's, wedding. We wish we could fly, but, heavens, if prices aren't ridiculous right now... and Malia is no longer free. Guh. Good thing the kid loves her pixar movies and thank the technology gods for the portable DVD player. We'll let you know how it goes... if we're still alive. A 2-tear-old strapped to her carseat for 10 hours and a pregnant woman needing potty stops every hour. This should be a joy.

That's the nutshell for now. I may go bananas because our Church callings and obligations on top of everything else is overwhelming us right now. Seriously. It's like, we're bored out of our minds with nothing to do and then KA-BLOOEY! When it rains it pours.

God Bless It

I've always been a huge sap for the good ole U.S. of A. I'm not really the type, even, to be too critical of our government or the laws and regulations that exist here, simply because I know in my gut that, while things here are imperfect, there ain't no way the grass is greener. While I acknowledge that humanity as a whole seems to make some pretty lame decisions, overall, I would never trade living here for elsewhere. When I lived in Japan for a year, it was the little things that made me truly realize that, as cliche' as it may sound, I am darn proud to be an American. I will never be ungrateful for that gift. As rough as it gets here - as corrupt as some parts of it can be... and this is generally more in the opinion of others as opposed to myself - I will never take for granted the blessing of living in a country where we actually have a say and we truly can be who we choose to be. If I wanted to, I could hop in my car for $4.52 a gallon and drive down the street for a greasy donut wearing my CTR ring while showing some scandalous female ankle and pregnant with my 2nd child... and no one could stop me. There are billions of people on this earth who can't even fathom that kind of freedom.

And I never want anyone who ever had to die in order for me to have what I have to not be able to look me in the eye out of fear of going unappreciated. God bless our troops... now, in the past, and in the future.

I pray I never take it for granted.

Ok, now off of my soapbox, cause now it's PICTURE TIME!!!

In the morning (after a slow start because Dave was relishing in his day off), we decided to head down to Huntington Beach to kick-off the festivities. We got there literally as the last 1/2 of the parade was doing it's thing, which made me so very happy (I love parades!). Malia is a lot like her mommy and couldn't get enough of anything that passed by with a lot of noise.

This is her excited face.


An adorable shot of Lili & Daddy that I snuck in while checking on our illegally parked car
(which was parked in a temporary Parade No Parking Zone - heh)


Malia enjoying the water... please acknowledge that I am 16 weeks pregnant... so no fat jokes; because along with the tummy comes a lot of hormones, and I don't wanna' hear it.


We headed home for Malia (& Daddy) to have a nap, and then drove up the freeway to see the Andersons! They'd invited us over for a last minute BBQ and I was elated to hang with our old friends. I think we've spent a few 4ths with them, actually. PLUS - I ate a whole steak... meat's been difficult for me lately (courtesy Tim's new grilling skillz). Malia developed a quick and infatuated crush on Weston.

And last, but certainly never least.... FIREWORKS!!!

6 years!!!!

Well - our 6th wedding anniversary fell on Father's Day this year... so I kind of wanted to let the majority of the day ride out before talking about it, so that David could enjoy "his" day.

On June 15th, 2002, David and I were sealed for time & all eternity in the San Diego LDS temple by my Uncle Kent with family in attendance. It was a beautiful, clear day. And it was the most important day of my life.... yes, even more important then the birth of my current (and future) children. More important because, without that day, my time with my children would be only mortal and brief anyway. But because of that day, my children are mine (well - ok, technically they're God's... but I get to borrow them) for time & all eternity. And David is truly mine for time & all eternity.

We met outside of the 8th floor elevator at Kaigandori House in Osaka, Japan, where we would both be living for the entire year. We became fast friends. BEST friends, to be completely accurate. We shared secrets and philosophies with each other. He gave me a blessing as my new home teacher before he even knew my last name. I broke down in his apartment about my low self-esteem, and the poor guy hadn't even been around me long enough to understand I was just a basket-case by nature. We discussed the gospel as well as both of our current romantic relationships (I had a missionary and he'd left a girlfriend back at the Y). Despite predictions from all of our fellow performers, we denied it would ever become anything more. It was very "When Harry Met Sally." But after his relationship fell victim to the pitfalls of long-distance, the following week became a whirlwind of unexpected emotions, awkward moments of tension, and a first kiss. We thought we'd keep it a secret in order to avoid "I-told-you-so's," however, the obvious rash left on my sensitive skin from an Italian boy's 5 o'clock shadow made that nearly impossible.

After over a year of dating, making David change his major, and me debating if I could wait 5 more years before marrying him so that I could pursue my Broadway dreams, we did it. And I haven't regretted it since.

Here's to 6+infinity more years!