Dear Everyone.... That Includes You

Isn't it sad that I've resorted to this?

I mean, whatever happened to that whole thing where you stress out trying to take the perfect family picture and then you spend every last penny you have post-Christmas-shopping to order 25+ too many copies of the darn thing "just in case" and then frantically search everywhere you possibly can (including making 15 random phone calls to people you haven't spoken to since the last year) in order to find all the addresses you need, especially for the people you haven't talked to in 10 years but you know they'll be "offended" if you don't send them one, not to forget you still have to come up with some witty way to inform everyone what you've been doing in the last year without depressing them too much while also keeping them entertained to the last sentence, and then come to find that, in February (don't judge), as you are putting away decorations, simply throwing away all the pictures away that you received, knowing full-well that everyone else is doing the same to yours...?

Yeah... this is better.

Ok - 2009. Here goes:

*Dave turned 30! (insert Nelson laugh here)

*We started the year with 2 kids. TWO! Both girls. Both beautiful. Both healthy.

*We had to let our Disneyland passes expire. I know. Sad day. Don't laugh.

*Malia started taking dance lessons!

*I was officially diagnosed with Post-partum Depression (FUN)! I had it taken care of and I was able to return to being the kind of Mommy I should be and the girls deserved.

* David and I celebrated 7 years of marriage to each other... itch-free!

*My baby sister adopted her first baby boy!

*Malia had her first dance recital and she was, no surprise, a little star. (A video was supposed to be attached her... but blogger always hates my video file sizes and has decided, that after 3 hours of attempting an upload... it will not accept it). Imagine the cutest little curly-haired girl dancing away to "Yankee Doodle Dandy," and you'll get the main idea.

*I got off my happy pills after about 4 months, all on my own... and I didn't have a breakdown... well, nothing beyond the norm.

*Cecily is reaching all of her verbal & social milestones at a just-above-average rate and her motor skills milestones at a below-average rate. (Yep. My kid, all right). She started out in the 90th percentile at birth (Mommy chowed down during pregnancy) and has now topped off in the 30th percentile a year later... genetics kicked in, I guess.


*We took an oh-so-fun road trip to Utah for Dave's brother's wedding to his new beautiful wife, Aubrie, in the Bountiful LDS Temple.


It was actually more pleasant than I had anticipated and it was, yet again, another lesson for me in trying to be more optimistic in general. It went pretty well...


...mostly...



*Malia started pre-school. I cried/blubbered/sobbed like a total lame-oid the entire drive home. Not because I missed her. Simply because I recognize that event as just one more step towards her entering society without me. Oh... shut up.

*I've acknowledged, quite frequently, throughout the year, that it really is difficult to give equal face time to children following the first. So for that reason, in this post, I will now give CC some face time.

*We celebrated Thanksgiving at my parents' new home in the same ol' town. (Apple Valley, CA... look it up). It was a grand time with my sister Tina and her little family as well as my brother Tony and my parents. And it was a wonderful way to kick off the Christmas season.


*Cecily turned 1!!!*


*Malia turned 4!!!*
(the pictures taken on her birthday are still on my camera... sad, I know).

*This last month has required more of my time than the entire year. I had to direct two choirs, be in charge of and perform in 3 entertainment programs for 3 parties, celebrate 2 birthdays, go Christmas shopping, and lose my sanity all within 3 weeks! Mission accomplished.

I will have to start blogging nearly every other day in the month of January just because I have so many pictures and little mini-experiences we've had with the girls in the last couple of months that I need to put up for mine and their Grandmothers' sakes.

We didn't have a lot of things going on this year, but we had a lot of "change." I am grateful for the change that comes to me throughout my life. They are learning experiences and often grant me a greater perspective of the eternal things.

Love, the Nutters

Is It Worth 20 Bucks?!

Undoubtedly. Every year.

P.S. I'm hoping to come back to the blogging world some time soon. At least to get a brief "Christmas Letter" out. It's been a ka-RAZY month. :)

Look Who's Turning 1!

My baby CC had her first birthday yesterday.
It's bittersweet.

*more pictures & thoughts to come*

Took the words right outta' my mouth...

I mentioned a while back my new obsession and how it was unfortunate that I made fun of it for so long.... a habit of mine I'm working on fixing.

If only I had the talk-show host excuse...

Outside of Myself

It's no secret that I'm busy right now.


The "most wonderful time of the year" for most people has become the "most dreaded, I-literally-don't-have-more-than-2-days-in-a-row-where-I don't-have-an-obligation, don 't forget my daughter's birthdays are both also in December, time of insanity" for me.

This last weekend began it all (truthfully? It began about a month ago as I frantically began preparations for all of these obligations). However, last weekend, my husband and I sang at two different functions, one of which involved me running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to organize my angels and shepherds, and then have to run onstage and appear completely together and at peace, singing a song to my toddler (not a toddler! Almost 4!) on my lap. The following night involved me pacing frantically, waiting to sing my part in a program so I could bring my exhausted and overtired baby home to bed (we couldn't afford a babysitter TWO nights in a row).

As Sunday morning came, I laid in bed for about 10 minutes before getting up to nurse Cecily, trying to organize my thoughts re: choir practice and nap schedules and all of the obligations that my husband and I had every week for Church that made us nearly insane.

After the meeting and waiting outside of the garage for David to get home with Malia for her nap (I had just put Cecily down), I climbed into the car and sped out of our neighborhood like a fiend. As I pulled into the Church parking lot, late for my own choir practice, about to blow my own personal gasket, a thought struck me.

Calm down. You're not doing this for yourself. Besides, it's the Sabbath. What else would you be doing... or, more appropriately, what else should you be doing? Amidst the chaos in your life and the overwhelming stress of trying to make a performance perfect for others, you are forgetting you are doing it FOR OTHERS. This isn't about you. It's about Him. And it's about using the talents He gave you to remind others of Him. Suck it up. Get outside of yourself, and do what He asks of you.

I walked into practice, and scanned the faces of those in attendance. They did not look happy to be there. In a last-minute renewal of myself, I bore my testimony of music, the spirit it can bring to meetings, the blessings that come from consecrating one's "me time" to the praising of our Savior, and of the Savior, Himself. Honestly? I was bearing my testimony to myself.

And when I came home that afternoon and shoved dinner in the oven so that we could eat early and make it on time for a stake rehearsal that I had just recently been asked to take over, I explained to my husband that I was going to turn a new leaf.

Yeah, I'm overwhelmed. Yeah, I don't have even a day to myself. But, honestly, aren't we always asking about what Christmas REALLY means, anyway? Isn't that the universal question?

He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!

I had done some complaining on my facebook status the other day: "...is preparing to begin the chaos that is a Mormon musician's enslaved-to-service Christmas. I will emerge, hopefully, unscathed at the end of the month... (although, not likely). Pray for me."

I received a few generic responses, but I received one from a childhood associate that gave me perspective: "What I would give to have you in my ward and hear you sing or just put together one of your programs! I still remember your amazing shows, songs, etc. and that was YEARS ago! Just think of all the people you are blessing in those few moments you actually get to breathe! "

And another from a friend in a past ward after I had made the vow to move and tell no one I have any musical talent: "But wouldn't that be like the fellow who buried his talent in the sand? I know it's a pain in some respects, but look how much you enrich the lives of others and how much of the spirit you share through your talents. I know for sure that we miss not only your company but your amazing gifts as well."

I am constantly preaching to others the necessity of singing and performing from a humble place and the importance of making a performance about the subject matter and not about one's self.

Christmas is about something more. (Cliche', but so true). And it's not just about serving others... but it's about serving others to the point that you are making a feasible sacrifice. Almost anyone can make 1 batch of cookies and knock on a neighbor's door. But it takes a truly sacrificial heart to emulate the sacrifice of the condescension of our Savior.

I will never make a sacrifice like the one He made. I couldn't. But at this time of year, when we celebrate His birth, His existence, His life, and His greatest sacrifice, I can do my best to have a grateful heart for the talents He blessed me with... and a humble heart about donating a few hours ever day, for only a month.

I apologize. I'll try to be better.
And I will work, daily, to learn from Your example.

Create!!!

I relate to this on so many levels. I had to share it.

*Posts on our Thanksgiving to come soon.