Guilty Confessions

Ok, so there are a few things in my life that I really think I should probably work on a little. These aren't spiritual sins or legal matters (those are personal) :). They're more "silly," so I figured that my blog might be a good way to get them out into the universe so that maybe I would begin to find the willpower to change these things.

*Washing Towels
I really should be better about this. I am pretty sure my mom washed towels at least once a week when I was a kid. But, for some reason, I don't even think about it until a good 2-3 weeks go by and they start to smell funny. I know that sounds absolutely disgusting, and my home is fairly clean... fairly. AND, we have our OWN washer & dryer which I picked out myself and absolutely LOVE. But me and washing towels just hardly ever happens. Well, me & laundry in general. I just don't love doing it. I need to work on that.

*Target
This store is the bane of my existence. I can NOT go into this place without buying something. We have one just kitty-corner from our home and it is a big problem. Sometimes, when I'm trying to think of something to do to entertain Malia, we decide to take a walk... to Target. We're supposed to be on a budget here! But I can't exit the store without purchasing, at the very least, a pack of gum. And even though the merchandise probably stays the same weeks at a time, I still find myself strolling through the home decor and clothing aisles at least once a week. Must stop.

*Do we put Malia in commercials?
Ok, this isn't really a confession so much as a thought. David and I have been amazed since the day Malia was born at how many compliments the child gets on her looks alone. Who knew?! Not only that, but she also has more than enough personality to boot. She is an absolute ham (no clue where she got that...). She will say literally any phrase I tell her to say. She makes faces that associate with 1/2 a dozen emotions on cue. (I'll post pix later). We sometimes talk about putting her in commercials. But we never really get around to the first step. Plus, do I really want one of "those" kids?

*Speaking of Malia...
... she's onto me. I don't know what it is, but whenever I leave the room to shower or do a load of laundry or clean something up, she is content doing whatever I left her to do. But if I am naughty and decide to go browse the Internet for no-good-reason or go into the kitchen to sneak a snack or turn the TV on downstairs to get a peek at whatever trash is currently on, she desperately starts calling for me. She knows when I'm indulging into something I probably shouldn't, no matter how silently I do it. This is a guilty confession because I guess I shouldn't be doing those things... and she's my little Jiminy Cricket.

*Trashy Reality TV
I. am. addicted. And the trashier, the better. All of those disgusting "Celebrity Dating shows" on VH1 & MTV (Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, I Love New York, etc.)? Yep. Seen 'em all. All seasons. Could probably name all the winners. Sad.

*Making OCD lists
I am such a list maker. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. What's bad is that I NEVER actually use them! When I am preparing for something that overwhelms me a little, I sit down and make lists to calm me down and get myself organized. And then I never refer to it! Then I will run across the stupid thing a few days later and think, "Hm. I should've used this." Lame.

Ok, this next one is more a fear, and not really a confession, but I have to get it off my chest.

*I am scared out of my mind for this second baby!
I know the reason,too. Malia's colic was so severe and lasted for so painfully long and caused me so much heartache and spiritual depression that I have no concept of what it's like to actually enjoy a newborn. I know the odds that this one won't have colic are pretty good, and I obviously know what to do otherwise. But my brain has no understanding or concept of what a "normal" 1-6 month old is like. I know them as constantly screaming, never sleeping, nursing poorly, and driving me insane... quite literally. I'm just afraid to do that again, all while trying to raise a 3-year-old at the same time. AND David is working now, whereas, with Malia, he was in school, and I could call him home whenever I was feeling homicidal. I'm just nervous. I'm not great with the unexpected these days. I used to be a much more exciting and spontaneous person. *sigh*

Ok... that's it for now. Ahhhhh... my chest feels not near as heavy...

... not really. Now that you all truly know my foibles and fears, I feel even more overwhelmed because I am now acountable. LOL. How ironic.