The Aggressive Mall Kiosk Offender

Has anyone else ever noticed that there are two types of people who work at those kiosks down the center of the mall walkway? You have your iPod-listening-doesn't-even-blink-even-if-you-approach-their-kiosk-I-wonder-if-they-ever-get-items-stolen high school teenager. And then you have the generally foreign oh-no-you've-made-eye-contact-run-for-your-life!-or-else-you're-committed-to-spending-$50-on-complete-crap young adult types.

Even though the first is obviously less deserving of a paycheck, I admit, I prefer them.

When I was pregnant with Malia, I was strolling... ok, waddling... through the University Mall in Orem, Utah. I was about 8 months pregnant, it was the holiday season, and my arms were full of bags. Some dude from, I dunno, I think he said Persia (riiiiiiiiiight) approached me and grabbed my arm. Looking back, I should've called security. But I was too shocked to do anything but laugh nervously. He told me I looked like I needed his product.

It was some sort of Dead Sea Salt skin creme that was "incredibly difficult to come by." (sure) And it was grainy & black... and he was rubbing it all over my lower arm.

I consider myself a fairly forward, blunt, & aggressive person... but for some reason, I found myself standing there for almost 45 minutes with my edema-swollen footsies as this dude did who-knows-WHAT to my arm, and my back began to ache and Malia started doing Highland stepping on my bladder, and I just smiled politely with the occasional, "Oh really?" "You're right. That is soft." & "Only $120?!"

*cough! choke! seriously?!*

I don't remember how I got away. I think I mentioned something about needing to consult my husband, and he retorted with something about how I shouldn't have to answer to a man, and I was like, "NO THANK YOU!!!!!"

I probably looked pretty funny trying to get as far as I could as fast as possible at my awkward size. But, hey. This was Utah Valley. How many very pregnant women do you see doing too many things at a ridiculous pace?

A lot.

I have since grown to get really nervous whenever I walk past one of these things. And, sadly, I admit... if the person looks foreign, I get even more anxious. I stare at the floor and start to walk briskly, especially if I can't find any other way to detour away from the thing.

HOWEVER -

Last week, on my birthday, the girls and I were at the mall heading home for nap time, when I walked past some girl at a kiosk for taking old-fashioned, Dickens-Era-type pictures. I've seen them at a few malls, and I've always thought they were strange because it seems to me like they couldn't possibly make much money when there are larger, fancier, more well- known photo studios just down the way. But when I hear her say that it is $15 for one 11x17 with no other obligation, I found my legs slowing down, much to my head's chagrin.

Needless to say, I made the purchase. As well as a few other pictures, because, let's face it, my kids are freaking cute, and I'll even risk hanging out at a gosh-forbidden kiosk for 15 minutes for the sake of a picture or two of my baby girls "playing dress-up."

And don't tell me that by looking at these, it wasn't worth it?