How to Be a Good Mommy

Let's face it. If you're a woman, you're insecure. I don't care if you think you have a healthy confidence. If you are of the female "persuasion," you second guess yourself from your outward appearance all the way to your sad little self-esteem. I don't know what it is. But it's ugly.

Problem is, if you're a mother, you probably do it ten-fold. I know I do. Just as I started to finally get a grip on who I was and what I was doing, I started having children, and any ounce of that confidence that I'd had, shriveled into a world of, "Am I doing this right?" and "Why can't I handle this with more grace?" and "How does 'so-&-so' handle it with 6 kids, and I am falling apart with only 2?"

Come on. Don't tell me you don't do this, fellow Mommys out there.

Not only do we women have a struggle with thinking highly of ourselves, but we tend to bore our spirits even deeper into the ground when we observe others and compare ourselves to them. The blog world, I fear, may be enabling this problem as well... at least for me, it is. When I come across friends who have made the most fantastic things completely from scratch for their children, or who have been able to organize the most wonderful healthy meals that actually taste good and keep the whole family happy, or who have a daily pre-school in their homes for their genius children, I admit... I feel lame. I mean, I love reading these things. And I constantly am in awe at how amazing a lot of my Mommy friends are. And I always tell myself that I will start trying to implement all of those things... soon... I swear...

I still can't help but feel as if maybe I kind of suck at this "Mommy thing."

But, then, this morning, as I was reading the scriptures, the Lord reminded me what it really takes to be a good Mommy, all scrapbooking and cooking skills, aside.

Moroni 10:8-18 "The Gifts of the Spirit."

"8 And again, I exhort you, my brethren, that ye deny not the gifts of God, for they are many; and they come from the same God. And there are different ways that these gifts are administered; but it is the same God who worketh all in all; and they are given by the manifestations of the Spirit of God unto men, to profit them."

Growing up, my dad was the ward choir director for yeeeeeaaarrrrrssss. And even, at the ripe ol' age of 8, he made me sing with the choir. It was so lame. I could hear the kids my age running around and playing tag in the cultural hall while I sat there with someone's grandma and her wobbly voice and weird smell. I've since sung in the ward choir, consistently, my entire life. When I was in college, I was a performance major in the MDT program. There was a girl in my ward who was also in the program. I was always at choir practice. She never was. I once, sorta' kinda' tried to ask her why she never came. I got the feeling she felt she was above it. I decided then & there that I would never think that way. I knew where my talents came from. I wasn't going to save them solely for the purpose of myself. They came from God. They'd be used to glorify God. Otherwise, I was basically slapping the Giver of the gift right in the face.

Something I've also learned, is that not acknowledging gifts/talents from God is also offensive to Him. And there are days, when I am chastising myself for not being as awesome a Mommy as others, when I have to remind myself that there are things I do for my girls that are pretty amazing, and to not acknowledge those moments is to deny the Spirit and what God has aided me in.

"9 For behold, to one is given by the Spirit of God, that he may teach the word of wisdom;"

I may not be the most phenomenal educator in the world... but Malia is a smart little cookie. And even though a lot of it is just who she is, I can't deny that I haven't put effort into teaching her many things. Especially when it comes to re-educating her (since she's forgotten when coming to this mortal life) on the Gospel. I'm not totally awesome at it... but I try.... really hard.

"10 And to another, that he may teach the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;"

I am a dang good teacher. If for no other reason than I try to keep my audience captivated and address the topics I think will really benefit them. Right now, Malia needs to know her basic ABCs & numbers... and I think my silly games and song-&-dance suit her just right.

"11 And to another, exceedingly great faith; and to another, the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;"

There are times it is intensely obvious to me that I am, in no way, going to be able to do this alone, and I break down. Without faith in the Lord and desperate pleas for His aid, I could never do this. Never.

"12 And again, to another, that he may work mighty miracles;"

Don't you TRY to tell me that helping teach a baby to sleep through the night ain't miraculous.

"13 And again, to another, that he may prophesy concerning all things;"

I've learned more things through the Spirit of God in this calling as "mother" than I have learned at any other phase in my life. That's the truth.

"14 And again, to another, the beholding of angels and ministering spirits;"

My children are my angels, and they minister to me about love, forgiveness, & patience on a daily basis.

"15 And again, to another, all kinds of tongues;"

Anyone who's raised a toddler can say that this gift is theirs. Trust me.

"16 And again, to another, the interpretation of languages and of divers kinds of tongues."

See above.

"17 And all these gifts come by the Spirit of Christ; and they come unto every man severally, according as he will.
18 And I would exhort you, my beloved brethren, that ye remember that every good gift cometh of Christ."

I could never succeed at any of this without my faith in Christ and without my willingness to submit to everything He asks of me. Every trial I've had as a mother has only been completely overcome through my desperate need of Him and my faith that He will help me through every task. Yes - even potty-training. Seems silly, I know. But when you are starting to entertain thoughts of how your child will never be able to function as a normal human being in society because you're worried she will never be able to go to the bathroom in a toilet like a decent person, sometimes you have to get on your knees and ask the Lord to calm your crazy, emotional self down.

Thanks, Scriptures, for reminding me to get off of my high horse and to stop thinking about the kind of Mommy my neighbors think I am that I'm not... and to recognize the good Mommy I've been, with the Lord at my side.