God Cherishes the Stay-at-home Mom

I've been pondering this a lot lately; especially since we've been living in California for over a year now, and it's so fiercely expensive. I may offend people, but I don't care anymore.

It is pure evidence that Satan wants to attack the family unit more then anything when mothers are no longer staying home. I am not commenting on the people who need 2 incomes in order to survive. I am more then empathetic to that situation. It's those who say, "Well, we couldn't afford our home if I didn't work," and they live in a 3,000 sq. foot home with a pool and a 3-car-garage! MOVE! Is it really more crucial to have a better home then the Jones' then it is for your children to be loved more then the Jones' kids?!

Anyone who knows me is more then aware of my desire to be out in the work force, whether it be performing or teaching. I feel as if I am a fairly creative person who, when given the outlet, explodes with enthusiasm to explore it. People who are close to me have heard over and over again how close I was to getting my dream job when we first moved here to CA. It was LITERALLY my dream job. And it paid well. And I could have stayed home with Malia during the day and then traded shifts with David as I worked nights. But as I thought about it, I imagined our daughter remembering her early years without ever seeing Mommy and Daddy at the same time. Not to mention the fact that it wouldn't allow for the possibilty of more children for a long time. So, I turned my back on the opportunity. And for a while, I was bitter. I felt like I had made an incredible sacrifice and I questioned it for a long time.

A few months ago, I pursued my dreams again. This time, instead of being offered the opportunity, I was flat-out rejected. I was concerned with how I would take it if that were to happen. I don't handle rejection well when it comes to my talents because, for the most part, I am rarely rejected. This rejection brought me an overwhelming feeling of relief. The moment they said "thank you" and I turned to walk to the car and head home, I was overcome with a calm, peaceful feeling. Something inside me said, "What are you doing? You HAVE a job. And it's the most rewarding and fulfilling job you will ever do. Sure it's hard. Sure it's humbling. Sure, it's pretty much the most unglamourous job a woman could have. But it's amazing and so worth it. And very few people realize this. How sad for them." As I held Malia that night before putting her to bed, I sobbed. But it was a happy cry.

All of my life, I wanted to be a star. I assumed I would be a mother, but that thought was put on the backburner because singing on Broadway consumed my thoughts constantly.

Motherhood came instead.

I have been given many opportunities to pursue the Broadway Dream and have called it a "sacrifice" when I turn it down. But it's not a sacrifice, because I got the better end of the deal.

So many smart, beautiful, gifted women are wasting their smarts, beauty, and talents on the rest of the world while their children do not get to reap the benefits of their strengths. They get the "I'm too tired. I've had a long day" Mommy instead. Dr. Laura says that Daycare will not love your children. They will take care of them. They will feed them and give them naps, sure. But they will not love them. If a mother thinks nothing of sending her children to daycare so that they can afford to have the best hybrid SUV money can buy, then they do not think their child deserves love. And that is not the case with any child. They all deserve to be loved.

It's important to remember that our children were first God's children. So, in truth, they are not really ours. They are His. They are on loan. And we are in agreement with Him to not only return them in one piece, but to do all the things necessary to return them at all. That requires that we love them and teach them about Him. And no nanny, babysitter, or daycare can really do that. Only a Mommy can truly help a child learn about their Heavenly Father.

But what irritates me the most is when people ask what I do for a living, and when I say "stay-at-home mom," they dismiss me. DON'T DISMISS ME! What I do is more important then any amount of lawyering or fashion designing or managing that you will EVER do. I may not be getting paid for it in salary, but the giggles, hugs, and "I love you"s I get on a daily basis are worth more then anything you could imagine.

What I do matters. Don't you DARE make me feel otherwise. There are not enough of us in this world anymore. If my family has to eat peanut butter and saltines for 10 years just so that I can be home with my children, so be it. You can drive your fancy cars, live in your big houses, and look down your perfect plastic noses at me all you want. But that just makes you ignorant. You are not worth enough of my time for me to help you realize I am much wealthier then you will ever be!

All Hallow's Eve

It is so much more fun to celebrate holidays when your kids are getting old enough to find excitement in them. It was a little bit difficult when all was said and done, to keep Malia from begging for candy for about 3 days after her first trick-or-treat experience, but she forgot soon enough (thank heavens). Over the last month she has become enamoured with pumpkins and would scream, "wunkin!" every time we passed by anything that even sort of resembled one. And, I'm not sure exactly where she had picked it up, but whenever she saw a skeleton, or a skull and crossbones (which are everywhere nowadays with the new pirate fad), she would point and say, "Mean guy. Raaaawr." It was hilarious.

We went to a Pumpkin Patch for Family Home Evening a few weeks ago. It shocked me how overcome with joy it made me when I was walking around, holding the hands of my husband and child. It was a quiet and simple peace and I was so happy that I am in the situation I am right now. It really made it evident that being with family is a gift from God. I was a little overwhelmed, and almost embarassed by the strength of the emotion as I walked around this ridiculous little mini-amusement park. Watching your child laugh and get excited at everything she sees, and seeing her father sweep her up, causing her to squeal with joy, is so rewarding. It makes all the sacrifices more then worth it.

It took some severe begging and pleading, but David agreed to dress up as a family for Halloween. I was so excited! However, I had to be willing to let David forgo the tights/leggings... maybe next time. We were so cute as Peter Pan, Wendy, and Tinkerbell! I know that Halloween is supposed to be about gruesome and scary things, but I don't care. We were a part of a very small group of adults who actually dressed up at the ward party. I'm sorry, but in my opinion, you are never too cool to dress up!

Party poopers.

I LOVE the Fall!!!

This is the time of year where the drudgery of the heat and long days gives way to cooler nights and the excitement of the pending holiday season. I LOVE it! I love Halloween.... which leads to Thanksgiving... which leads to CHRISTMAS!!! (yippee!) This year we're really excited about this time of the season because Malia is almost 2 and she is so aware of everything around her. We're considering taking her trick-or-treating for her first time (although Mommy is probably more excited about that then Malia). And we're also thinking about coordinating our costumes together as a family (again, something Mommy is excited about.... Daddy couldn't care less). LOL.

We're still in the midst of shopping around for our first home. "They" claim that prices are going down, but I tell ya'.... if these prices are "down," I don't WANT to know what "up" is! Maybe it's just Orange County. What's with those snobs who have to live in the "OC" (don't call it that [Arrested Development])?! Oh yeah, I guess we're one of those now. One of the benefits of finally getting a place of our own would mean I could possibly start teaching piano and voice again and bring in a little extra income to balance out my spending habits (oops!).

I finally took Malia on the new "Finding Nemo" ride at Disneyland the other day. The line is often 2-3 hours long. Fortunately, we waited only 30 min. When we got to the submarine entrance, the employee asked Malia if she was ready to see Nemo. Malia looked up at her and opened her eyes wide with raised eyebrows, gritted her teeth in a big grin, and clenched her fists (that's her "excited" reaction). It made the employee laugh really hard. Malia is such a little actress. She doesn't really like it when Mommy & Daddy hug. I think she gets possessive. She used to cry. But now, she puts her head down and pouts while looking at us through the corner of her eyes until we stop. It's hysterical! We're in so much trouble with this one.

Malia's Milestones

Our little girl is amazing us every day! We're especially proud when perfect strangers stop us on the street to point out her beautiful eyes or her curly hair. Older women especially love her, commenting that she is just like "a little doll." Admittedly, we're proud... probably to a fault... but we just can't help ourselves. She is accomplishing so many things!

Some of her many, many words are:

"Mommy" & "Daddy"
"eese" = please
"doo doot" = thank you
"side" = slide
"gaykie" = blankie
"nah nite" = good night
"skak" = snack
"geenk" = drink
"puppy"
"sky"
"fries"
"ba-gah" = Grandma
"Sa-sehs" = Jesus & glasses
"buck" = truck
"cars"
"eat"
"no"
"yes"
"shash" = bath
"Lala" = water
& any word she can imitate, without knowing what it means

She also knows the names of some of her favorite toys/characters:

"Gickee" - Mickey
"Pooh"
"Buzz" (Lightyear)
"Dowa" = Dora
"Fee-fee" = Goofy
"Ga-Guck" = Donald Duck
"Ninnee" = Minnie
"E-yoh" - Eyore
etc.

She knows the animal noises for a cow, pig, dog, cat, monkey, bear/lion, horse, duck, sheep... and our personal favorite, is the elephant (we make her do it for strangers... "dance, Monkey, dance!") She can also basically read the book "Moo, Baa, La La La" entirely on her own (she has it memorized). It's pretty adorable. She also can point out and correctly name the majority of her external body parts. Our favorite is when she smacks her backside and says, "bum."

She knows the difference between letters and numbers. Although almost ALL letters are "B" and ALL numbers are "3"s. However, she can point out and name the letters "O" & "Y." WHen I wear my BYU shirt, she points to the letters (correctly) over and over "B. Y. B. Y." And when she counts, she points to items after lining them up and says :"2, 3, 2, 3, etc."

She likes to dance to music and she likes to sing with Mommy when I belt or when we sing in Church. She folds her arms for prayers and ends them with an entusiastic "A-MET!" (she ends a lot of words with the letter "T"). She loves nursery at Church and Sister Tawny tells us every week that she's incredibly well-behaved and never fusses.... unless an aggressive child pushes her down.

There are so many things she can do and we're constantly amazed at the things she learns, especially the things she picks up that we don't teach her. She definitely is a sponge. And children are a wonderful way to learn to censor yourself.

She is an amazing little spirit and gift from God and we thank the Lord every day for our little angel... especially our "post-colic" angel. People comment on how obedient she is and she actually sleeps more then the maximum average amount of hours for a child her age! Noone believes me when I tell them she screamed for 6 months. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Memorial Day

So, this year, as I was talking to David about how we should spend his day off from work, I expressed an interest in doing something in respect to the actual meaning of the day, as opposed to BBQs and a trip to the beach. I thought maybe we could go to a Forest Lawn or possibly find some sort of a memorial for veterans, seeing as how La Mirada is a community especially proud of its veterans. The Sunday night before, as we were discussing it, I could sense he was less then enthusiastic about doing anything.... i.e. I see holidays as a time to go out and do things until we wear ourselves out silly; he sees them as the opposite (wearing ourselves out by doing absolutely nothing). This is an unattainable compromise that we've struggled with for our almost 5 years of marriage. I finally ran across a webpage advertising the Garden Grove Strawberry Festival. It obviously had absolutely nothing to do with "memorializing" anybody, persay.... but the strawberry seemed like a pretty yummy 2nd choice.

Malia with Daddy on the Animal Train

Malia loves Carousels! Although this one made Mommy nervous, because, from my perspective, it seemed to be circulating at an alarmingly fast pace.... too fast for a carnival ride that looked as if it could crumble if the wind blew.

Malia has a problem understanding that taking a bite doesn't mean you will lose the rest of it... hence the mouthful of strawberry.

We had a bowl FULL of strawberries which were topped by whipped cream.... have you ever been full from strawberries? It's not as wonderful as you might anticipate. When we got home, both Malia and Daddy took wonderful naps, so I'd say it was a fairly successful day. Although, admittedly, I still felt less then appeased and somewhat guilty for not celebrating the holiday for its true purpose. So, in the words of a great teacher and orator, Joseph Campbell:

"A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself."

In Memoriam...