Tonight I will most likely post something about my husband - one of the best fathers "in every contri" (as Malia so eloquently put it on her card to him). But right now I feel compelled to talk about my dad.
A lot of people who met me after my time moving out of the house at 18 have never met my father. They've met my mother and possibly most, if not all, of my siblings. But most of my acquaintances have not met my Dad. For this reason, I feel the need to introduce him to you, through my eyes, on this day that celebrates fathers.
My dad is not an emotional man. In fact, I could count on one hand the number of times I've seen him get emotional in my 30+ years of life. He does not like to be a vulnerable man. He's not mushy or sentimental. He is proud. Very proud. He is an extrovert. He enjoys the knowledge and wisdom he's accrued in his 75 years. And he especially enjoys sharing it with people. If I were to list what I think are the things most important to him, I'd guess health, hard work, music, family, the Gospel, old cars, and Diet Coke.
My dad and I are close in a weird way. I am not close to him in the way my brothers are, because I am not his son. I am not close to him in the way my older sister is, because he isn't sensitive with me as he feels he should be with her. I'm not close to him the way my baby sister and he are, because he isn't tender with me and because I am not his baby. I'm like the son he never had and the daughter he never wanted. I don't mean that in a negative way at all, despite how it may sound. I feel like my dad talks to me the way a man talks to his sons, but because I am his daughter, it is still different. There isn't pretense or caution with me. He says what he means with me. In fact, of all of my dad's children, I acknowledge my personality is most like his.
People have commented that this is the case for years. I generally nod my head and laugh, and he denies it. I'm not sure why he denies it. I mean, come on. I'm wicked awesome. I think he denies it because it terrifies him. Like me, he appears incredibly confident, self-assured, and ready to take on the world. But I think, like me, he's incredibly insecure, desperate for approval, and in constant fear of the offenses he may have unintentionally caused. He likes to tease. I'm easy to tease. The combination has occasionally been volatile.
My dad is a talented man. He is so very proud of the talents of his children. And even though a large deal of the credit goes mainly to a stay-at-home mom who worked endless hours teaching us, I believe strongly in the influence of genetic make-up when it comes to a person's skill set. And the gift of music comes from his blood as well as my mother's. He plays multiple instruments and plays them well - the majority of them having been self-taught. He has an ear for harmony and a love for the music of his youth. He is incredibly closed-off to modern music, and I'm not sure if that's because of or in spite of his great appreciation for good music.
He's loud. (See? I told you the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...).
He loves animals and always has to have dozens of them around. He grew up on a farm. This also speaks to his respect for hard work and discipline. He's sustained multiple work-induced injuries in his life. This aspect alone makes me feel like I need to get on writing his life story. Oh, the stories he tells...
My father was the disciplinarian. When we misbehaved, we felt guilt towards our mother... but we feared Dad. Some people think that's not necessarily the best way - but 5 children who are all active in the Church and worthily hold current temple recommends speaks for something. My dad was always the one to say "no." Sometimes, even to this day, I think he said it too much. But he didn't want to take chances with his children straying. He didn't trust the world, and sometimes, maybe, didn't trust us. It was frustrating sometimes, especially when we felt we were trustworthy, but my dad is not the kind of person who likes to tempt temptation. When people try to tell me about their strict parents and how sheltered they were, I want to laugh, loudly, in their face.
My dad is not openly preachy with his testimony of the Gospel. In fact, I've heard him bear it a very small number of times. But I've never doubted he has one. His strict self-discipline and hard-working nature combined with the moral choices he makes in his daily life were testimony enough.
My dad is always himself. He doesn't put on a show. What you see is what you get. I like to think I got that trait from him.
When people ask me to describe my Dad, the word I use is "eccentric." He is an older man who works out at the gym 3-4 times a week, has an addiction to garage sales, has - very possibly - the worst fashion sense I've ever encountered without a care that that's the case, keeps an odd array of animals in his backyard (we've had pigs, sheep, cows, emus, swans, dogs, lizards, etc.), goes bottle hunting whenever he gets the chance, has no qualms approaching perfect strangers with an observation about their body and how they can improve it, gets up in the middle of Sacrament Meeting and goes to the back to jump up and down and wiggle his joints in an effort to avoid stagnation and the pain it can bring about (he's a Chiropractor), will repeat a story over and over if it has been successful at garnering laughter before, is convinced that hydrogen peroxide and exercise are the perfect prescription to any ailment, and, despite a near obsession with the health and well-being of the human body, drinks liter after liter of Diet Coke and will even consume expired food & beverages in an effort to not be wasteful. There are so many more things I could say as evidence to his eccentricity, but I have children to take care of and a life to live...
I remember meeting the fathers of my friends as a kid, and there were definitely moments I would think to myself, "I wish my dad were more like their dad." I think all kids go through that.
But if you were to ask me today with the gift of hindsight and the humility of adulthood if I wished I'd had a different father, I would reply, without hesitation, "Are you kidding me?! So much of who I am comes from who he is."
That, and I think other dads would've been boring...
