Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you. (Mindy)
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.
*I have a sometimes immobilizing fear of the dark. It didn't show up until I was about 11 years old when my sister came home from a Young Women's Mutual Activity and proceeded to tell me a story that the YW President had told the girls about an experience with... not nice things... at night. I'm not afraid of murderers, rapists, burglars, etc. But I have literally become paralyzed at times with fear when I allow my imagination to wander into other-worldly evilness. Even still, if it's nighttime and I am up by myself, I will run up the stairs in an alarmingly explosive rate and, no matter how hot it is, I must have some sort of covers up to my chin... as if that'll protect me. Becoming a mommy helped a little as I've become more capable of fearlessly traversing dark hallways to check on my child... but when given just a second to think about other things, I freak out like a psychopath.
*I can be either really efficient or really lazy. I have no middle ground. I have been known to get going on things and not stop to the point of being almost OCD. Or, if I feel like putting things off, I will accomplish absolutely nothing. Example: a couple of days ago I was looking at the future nursery of baby #2 and decided to start doing some organizing. I ended up doing chores around the house for a good 3 hours straight after that and my poor little pregnant body has been suffering ever since. Today? Stared at the computer looking at nothing specific for the entirety of Malia's nap, even though laundry & dishes could use some doing. Baffling.
*From age, oh, probably about 10 until I moved out at 18, I put mini-musicals on in the privacy of my bedroom. I would, literally, rummage through my closet for costumes and actually go through the process of styling my hair and make-up to look like the character and then I would blast a Broadway CD, and lip-sync (yes - even though I sing, I actually lip-synced... hey! I didn't want anyone to know what I was doing)! Sometimes my sisters would walk in on me and laugh. I actually did CATS once... with full-on make-up. I actually brought myself to tears a few times while putting on "Ragtime." I would do the same with my Barbies. My sister Cindy laughs when I tell her how I used to get nervous that she would come in while my nightie-bedecked Barbie sang "Lost & Found" from the musical "City of Angels." Good times.
*I can actually be painfully shy. I swear. Most people have erased any possible memory of me as such because of following experiences of me without seemingly any inhibitions... but if people could truly, actually remember our first encounters, they'd probably realize this is a complete truth. I make David introduce me more frequently than I am willing to do so myself. Honest.
*Sometimes I worry more about whether or not Malia will have a uni-brow or be somewhat obese or have terrible acne than I do about whether or not she will live a gospel-centered life. I don't know why that is. Maybe because I have a false confidence that I will have more control over her agency than her looks? Maybe because I never personally struggled in the testimony department but always felt lacking in the looks department? I'm assuming these fears will shift when she is older and I am forced more so to face them.
*I desperately crave chocolate more on Sundays than any other day. No lie. I think it's because I find that we never seem to have any in the house on Sundays, and darn it! I can't go buy any!
I tag:
Tina
Celeste
Laurel
Jean
Abby
Chrissy
19 August 2008
17 August 2008
When Trials Become Blessings
Last night, I received a phone call from a newspaper reporter from my podunk hometown. Apparently, 3 of the 15 finalists for this "Wannabe Wicked" competition I'm doing are all from Apple Valley (where I grew up). The other 2 girls still live there. As he was asking me how I got involved in the competition, I was reminded once again of my experience with the show 2 years ago, when I was called back for Elphaba multiple times and found myself turning down any possible "opportunity" for the sake of being a mom to my wonderful Malia.
Some moms probably could've done both.
I am not one of those moms. Here's why -
Colic.
Colic. Colic. Colic.
Malia has been a joy to my life for 2 years now. But... she's 2 and a 1/2. There is a 1/2 a year of her life, at the beginning, where "joy" was the last thing I would've used to describe her. Harsh? Yeah - I know. But until/unless you've been there, you can't really understand.
But this post isn't about how hard colic made my life. I mean, I've dragged that through the mud and back... a few times. Besides, I don't think I need to talk about how crazy it was when pictures can be worth a thousand words:
Ah, the memories...
Last night as I was laying in bed, wide awake due to a wonderful head cold I've recently come down with and baby kicking me like Jackie Chan (so I had some chocolate... so what?) I was thinking back on how well Heavenly Father knows us. His allowing me to go through colic for as long as it was and as severe as Malia's case truly was, well, let's just say He knew exactly what I'd be learning from it.
I've decided to share the amazing blessings that came from the most tramautizing period of my life:
*I learned selflessness. My life was no longer about me. Of course, all mothers learn this lesson fairly quickly... but I think I was given the AP night school accelerated version of the class. All I wanted was to figure out how to improve Malia's life. My life was no longer a priority.
*David & I learned humility. It's amazing the horrendous things you are willing to say to someone you love when you have to do it at 3 in the morning in a voice loud enough to be heard over blood-curdling infant cries. We said sorry to each other... a lot.
*Being willing to apologize to a child. The multiple times I found myself apologizing to Malia for "letting her cry" and for looking at her with disdain and for desiring to physically do things (which I never did, mind you) were very enlightening to me as a parent. I hope I hold onto that perspective as she gets older. I want to be the kind of parent who is willing to step down from my place in order to say I'm sorry when it's necessary. I think children deserve that kind of honesty & humilty from a parent.
*Repentance. To this day I am still apologizing to God for the things I said to him in the wee hours of the night in my deepest, darkest anguish. But, the plus-side is... I think all the practice is making me good at it.
*Understanding what my purpose is. I had every intention of being a Broadway star. Even after Malia was born, I've pursued things briefly here & there. But I am always brought back to "ground zero," which is my little family. No amount of applause or fame could possibly compare to the fulfillment of being needed by my husband and child. There are days I lose that perspective, but I'll be darned if I don't always know it somewhere in the depths of my soul. It is so much better. I don't see it as a sacrifice at all... because I definitely have the better end of the deal. I am a wife & mother. Best. jobs. ever.
*I had to learn to take help. At this point, I want to give a shout-out to the most awesome ladies of the BEST ward in the UNIVERSE... Relief Society ladies of BYU 148th Wymount Ward 2005!!! Can I just say, they took my bitter rantings like a grain of salt. PLUS - they passed around a paper every week where they would sign up to take Malia for one hour every day so that I could find some semblance of peace in my life. I'm touched by it even just thinking about it, now. Those phenomenal sisters looked past my rugged, stubborn exterior and saw a desperate woman in need... a woman who is terrible at allowing people to help her do anything. I've always been far too independent for my own good. They wouldn't take no for an answer. Same time every day, a new sister would show up at my door and whisk the screaming child away. An hour later, they'd bring her back, Malia screaming at the top of her lungs, and the looks of pure apology on their faces were priceless. But they gave me a chance to miss my daughter. That one hour a day, I was given a chance to realize I did actually love her.
God really does know us...
Some moms probably could've done both.
I am not one of those moms. Here's why -
Colic.
Colic. Colic. Colic.
Malia has been a joy to my life for 2 years now. But... she's 2 and a 1/2. There is a 1/2 a year of her life, at the beginning, where "joy" was the last thing I would've used to describe her. Harsh? Yeah - I know. But until/unless you've been there, you can't really understand.
But this post isn't about how hard colic made my life. I mean, I've dragged that through the mud and back... a few times. Besides, I don't think I need to talk about how crazy it was when pictures can be worth a thousand words:
Ah, the memories...
Last night as I was laying in bed, wide awake due to a wonderful head cold I've recently come down with and baby kicking me like Jackie Chan (so I had some chocolate... so what?) I was thinking back on how well Heavenly Father knows us. His allowing me to go through colic for as long as it was and as severe as Malia's case truly was, well, let's just say He knew exactly what I'd be learning from it.
I've decided to share the amazing blessings that came from the most tramautizing period of my life:
*I learned selflessness. My life was no longer about me. Of course, all mothers learn this lesson fairly quickly... but I think I was given the AP night school accelerated version of the class. All I wanted was to figure out how to improve Malia's life. My life was no longer a priority.
*David & I learned humility. It's amazing the horrendous things you are willing to say to someone you love when you have to do it at 3 in the morning in a voice loud enough to be heard over blood-curdling infant cries. We said sorry to each other... a lot.
*Being willing to apologize to a child. The multiple times I found myself apologizing to Malia for "letting her cry" and for looking at her with disdain and for desiring to physically do things (which I never did, mind you) were very enlightening to me as a parent. I hope I hold onto that perspective as she gets older. I want to be the kind of parent who is willing to step down from my place in order to say I'm sorry when it's necessary. I think children deserve that kind of honesty & humilty from a parent.
*Repentance. To this day I am still apologizing to God for the things I said to him in the wee hours of the night in my deepest, darkest anguish. But, the plus-side is... I think all the practice is making me good at it.
*Understanding what my purpose is. I had every intention of being a Broadway star. Even after Malia was born, I've pursued things briefly here & there. But I am always brought back to "ground zero," which is my little family. No amount of applause or fame could possibly compare to the fulfillment of being needed by my husband and child. There are days I lose that perspective, but I'll be darned if I don't always know it somewhere in the depths of my soul. It is so much better. I don't see it as a sacrifice at all... because I definitely have the better end of the deal. I am a wife & mother. Best. jobs. ever.
*I had to learn to take help. At this point, I want to give a shout-out to the most awesome ladies of the BEST ward in the UNIVERSE... Relief Society ladies of BYU 148th Wymount Ward 2005!!! Can I just say, they took my bitter rantings like a grain of salt. PLUS - they passed around a paper every week where they would sign up to take Malia for one hour every day so that I could find some semblance of peace in my life. I'm touched by it even just thinking about it, now. Those phenomenal sisters looked past my rugged, stubborn exterior and saw a desperate woman in need... a woman who is terrible at allowing people to help her do anything. I've always been far too independent for my own good. They wouldn't take no for an answer. Same time every day, a new sister would show up at my door and whisk the screaming child away. An hour later, they'd bring her back, Malia screaming at the top of her lungs, and the looks of pure apology on their faces were priceless. But they gave me a chance to miss my daughter. That one hour a day, I was given a chance to realize I did actually love her.
God really does know us...
13 August 2008
I'm a Proud Mama... whatuvit?!
I had some pictures here & there of Malia that I was organizing through on my computer and I just wanted to share. There's no rhyme or reason to them other than that I feel like I have the most beautiful, amazing child ever! And while I do have a multitude of blessings, she is, by far, one of the greatest.
Last Easter, Malia received a very large package from her Grandpa filled with toys and candy... guess which part she liked the best?
Malia makes faces "on demand." I swear, it's true. The one above is her "sad face." She never holds the others long enough for me to get a good picture of them. One of these days....
The messier, the better it tastes, right?
Malia wanted to help me find our way through Disneyland... although, we've been there enough. She just likes to always take a map. /shrug
Malia at lunch at Downtown Disney after seeing her first movie, Wall*E, in the theatres. This is her response to, "Did you like the movie?" She's a total ham; I love it.
Playing "Pirates" with Grandma at Red Robin. She makes this face and says "Arrrrrrrrrrr!" Although, she struggles with the letter R, so the sound coming out is more like, "Awwwwwwwwww."
Trying on Daddy's "silly hat" from Japan."...while few human challenges are greater than that of being good parents, few opportunities offer greater potential for joy”
*President James E. Faust*
12 August 2008
Vote for Me!
So, I didn't realize that they were doing this, but I guess they'll also be having a "fan favorite" for this Wicked competition dealy-o I'm in. I don't now too much about the details... just that voting is on the 13th... er, something. I stumbled across it when an old teacher of mine e-mailed it to me.
So, maybe check back at that website on the 13th (tomorrow)? I figure that winning the whole competition may be difficult what with me being all engorged with pregnancy and stuff. So maybe if I could get this as a consolation prize, it'll make me feel ok. At the LIVE competition, I had the fewest people screaming for me as most of my competitors had brought their entire hometowns - or so it seemed. The contest itself isn't a popularity contest, thank heavens (I just brought my husband and Malia and my friend Jean showed up cause she rocks).
Anywho - maybe go to the website tomorrow and check out the situation. (and vote for me even though I just said, "Anywho").
05 August 2008
The Trip
Highlights of our trip (good & bad):
*Poor David stayed up until 4 AM tying up loose ends for work during our stop in Apple Valley on the first night.
*Stopping at Jan's house for Malia's nap! It was so much fun catching up with a dear friend and talking about shows of the past and our ideals of the future of our perfmorming lives. We've missed her. And she accidentally taught Malia her first swear word. Plus, David got to take a nap, too... bless his heart.
*Malia was really good about being stuck in the car. Watching "A Bug's Life" about 4 times probably helped. Also, me climbing into the backseat to give her my undivided attention didn't hurt either. Oh, and constant snacks... a God-send.
*Locking our keys in the car at a Cedar City gas station. Funny story... kind of. Depending on which of us you ask. I'll share it some time.
*Tina's dog tried to violate Malia. It was traumatizing at the time, but funny, now that we look back on it. Malia probably couldn't have cared less.
*Cafe' RIO!!!!! I had a list of places I was hoping to eat at while in Utah. This was the only one I had a chance for... but also the most important. YUM! And I only needed a TUMS for about 2 hours or so. (*grumble* pregnancy heartburn *grumble*)
*Observation: Utah gives me really chapped lips and my nose was always full of boogers. I didn't remember noticing that while I lived there... but it was driving me crazy during this trip! I borrowed chapstick from so many people. Who knows what kind of and how many diseases have now been spread.
*David gave Malia Hawaiian Punch in an open cup while she was wearing white pants... did he really think that would work? Really? Speaking of which, why did I not take any pictures the whole time I was there?!!
*David got some NASTY blisters on his back from his grandparents hot tub. They look painful. Like, open-wound-burn-blister painful. Not quite sure what to do for them...
*The wedding, of course. So awesome to be in the SLC temple with all of my siblings, their spouses, and my parents. When I got married, Tina couldn't attend because she was too young. No one was missing this time. AWE-some. And my Uncle Kent did the sealing... he has sealed all 3 of us girls, now. Very cool. He always says the most awesome things.
*Malia, the friendliest, sweetest, most outgoing & social child you could ever meet pretty much lost any semblance of herself for the entirety of the wedding day (which means I sorta', kinda' did, too). It had been 4 days since she'd even pooped, she hadn't been sleeping well, I forgot to pack her a lunch for the time we were at the temple so she ate 2 hours late, and then I had to discipline her for biting her cousin. My child has NEVER been a biter. I think she's crying in every. single. picture. Poor thing. It was not her best day.
*Cindy's hair wasn't 1/2 bad considering I just looked at some pictures on the internet and hoped for the best. I'm no professional, but I think she looked gorgeous... and I think I lost part of my fingernail in her hair. They're not fake or anything... it just cracked and then broke off. (Shhhhhhhhh - don't tell).
*I think I looked silly in my dress at the reception. I love the dress... but when I put it on that morning, I looked like I was concealing a squashed cantaloupe. I mean, who CHOOSES to wear a form-fitting get-up when almost 5 months preggers? Yes, folks. Me.
*Family, family, family. Usually I get sick of too much of them at one time. But it's been too long, so I definitely loved it. And they gushed over Malia, which I approve of, cause she rules.
*Malia pooped a TON on Sunday! (maybe quite literally a ton). HALLELUJAH! We finally had our little angel back after 3 days because of it.
P.S. Prune juice might make your poop turn green. Just sayin'.
*Playing Phase 10 with David's grandparents the last night until way too late. YIKES! But that cheesecake was soooooooo good!
*The majority of any drama occurring over the 4-day chaos was not caused by me! Quite possibly a family first. I'm all growed up.
*The girl at McDonald's in Beaver, UT saying, "You're talking to me like I'm slow or something!" at the drive-thru. We left and decided to go to Wendy's. I think I'll make a call and get her fired, maybe...
*Trying to get Malia to fall asleep in the car as we finished the last stretch of our drive home late last night. The kid was yawning and rubbing her eyes, she was in her PJs, in the dark, snuggling her blankie, but she just kept looking at me with wide eyes and a silly grin. THIS is why I will not share a bed with my children after they are 4 months old. GO TO BED, KID!
Overall - it was a success.... I'm exhausted... but that means it was a success, right?
*Poor David stayed up until 4 AM tying up loose ends for work during our stop in Apple Valley on the first night.
*Stopping at Jan's house for Malia's nap! It was so much fun catching up with a dear friend and talking about shows of the past and our ideals of the future of our perfmorming lives. We've missed her. And she accidentally taught Malia her first swear word. Plus, David got to take a nap, too... bless his heart.
*Malia was really good about being stuck in the car. Watching "A Bug's Life" about 4 times probably helped. Also, me climbing into the backseat to give her my undivided attention didn't hurt either. Oh, and constant snacks... a God-send.
*Locking our keys in the car at a Cedar City gas station. Funny story... kind of. Depending on which of us you ask. I'll share it some time.
*Tina's dog tried to violate Malia. It was traumatizing at the time, but funny, now that we look back on it. Malia probably couldn't have cared less.
*Cafe' RIO!!!!! I had a list of places I was hoping to eat at while in Utah. This was the only one I had a chance for... but also the most important. YUM! And I only needed a TUMS for about 2 hours or so. (*grumble* pregnancy heartburn *grumble*)
*Observation: Utah gives me really chapped lips and my nose was always full of boogers. I didn't remember noticing that while I lived there... but it was driving me crazy during this trip! I borrowed chapstick from so many people. Who knows what kind of and how many diseases have now been spread.
*David gave Malia Hawaiian Punch in an open cup while she was wearing white pants... did he really think that would work? Really? Speaking of which, why did I not take any pictures the whole time I was there?!!
*David got some NASTY blisters on his back from his grandparents hot tub. They look painful. Like, open-wound-burn-blister painful. Not quite sure what to do for them...
*The wedding, of course. So awesome to be in the SLC temple with all of my siblings, their spouses, and my parents. When I got married, Tina couldn't attend because she was too young. No one was missing this time. AWE-some. And my Uncle Kent did the sealing... he has sealed all 3 of us girls, now. Very cool. He always says the most awesome things.
*Malia, the friendliest, sweetest, most outgoing & social child you could ever meet pretty much lost any semblance of herself for the entirety of the wedding day (which means I sorta', kinda' did, too). It had been 4 days since she'd even pooped, she hadn't been sleeping well, I forgot to pack her a lunch for the time we were at the temple so she ate 2 hours late, and then I had to discipline her for biting her cousin. My child has NEVER been a biter. I think she's crying in every. single. picture. Poor thing. It was not her best day.
*Cindy's hair wasn't 1/2 bad considering I just looked at some pictures on the internet and hoped for the best. I'm no professional, but I think she looked gorgeous... and I think I lost part of my fingernail in her hair. They're not fake or anything... it just cracked and then broke off. (Shhhhhhhhh - don't tell).
*I think I looked silly in my dress at the reception. I love the dress... but when I put it on that morning, I looked like I was concealing a squashed cantaloupe. I mean, who CHOOSES to wear a form-fitting get-up when almost 5 months preggers? Yes, folks. Me.
*Family, family, family. Usually I get sick of too much of them at one time. But it's been too long, so I definitely loved it. And they gushed over Malia, which I approve of, cause she rules.
*Malia pooped a TON on Sunday! (maybe quite literally a ton). HALLELUJAH! We finally had our little angel back after 3 days because of it.
P.S. Prune juice might make your poop turn green. Just sayin'.
*Playing Phase 10 with David's grandparents the last night until way too late. YIKES! But that cheesecake was soooooooo good!
*The majority of any drama occurring over the 4-day chaos was not caused by me! Quite possibly a family first. I'm all growed up.
*The girl at McDonald's in Beaver, UT saying, "You're talking to me like I'm slow or something!" at the drive-thru. We left and decided to go to Wendy's. I think I'll make a call and get her fired, maybe...
*Trying to get Malia to fall asleep in the car as we finished the last stretch of our drive home late last night. The kid was yawning and rubbing her eyes, she was in her PJs, in the dark, snuggling her blankie, but she just kept looking at me with wide eyes and a silly grin. THIS is why I will not share a bed with my children after they are 4 months old. GO TO BED, KID!
Overall - it was a success.... I'm exhausted... but that means it was a success, right?
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