Shell-shocked

It's amazing how some things in life never really phase us, and how some things blow us over harder then we could've imagined.

Today, as I was browsing through facebook and friends' blogs, I received some terrible news. A friend of mine who I knew at BYU, we'd had some classes in the MDT program together... and we bonded over similar reputations of lunacy... just went through an incredibly traumatizing experience.

We haven't "spoken" in a few years. But through mutual friends, pursuits, and the internet, we've still managed somewhat to stay in touch. She was always a very witty, talented, and spiritual girl. I admired her for her wisdom, her sense of humor, and her testimony. I like to think, maybe, we made each other laugh.

Earlier this week, her only little baby girl, (I don't want to name her or her child... simply out of respect for their current situation), choked on an apple while they were getting her into her carseat after Church. They tried the Heimlich, but were unsuccessful. This angel, only 6 months younger then my Malia, was then life-flighted to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake. There, they removed the bit of apple from her lung with surgery. Problem is, she hadn't been breathing for over 20 minutes.

Over the week, they dealt with the thought that she would most likely be very brain-damaged, if she lived at all. Yesterday, her phenomenal parents - my friend - her mother - had to make the difficult decision to take her off of life support. The little girl, not even 2-years-old, has returned to her Heavenly Father.

I am sharing this story for 2 reasons. The first is selfish. When I heard about this, I was completely thrown. I don't know exactly what it was that did it to me, but I have been nearly inconsolable for quite some time now (thank heavens Malia is napping). I've written my friend a few messages here & there on the internet. But, for some reason, it is tearing me up inside. I felt that, if maybe I blogged about it, I could get some of the "owie" out of my heart.

The second reason, is the more obvious one. Please pray for them. I know I have left her identity unanimous, but I felt that I shouldn't talk about who they were due to the fact that this is a very hard and sacred time for her and her family. But I know the Lord knows who I am talking about, so I still think you can pray for them. Pray for their hearts to be comforted. Pray for their lives to be filled with as much joy as possible... so that the sorrow can't consume them. Pray for their perspectives.

She is a phenomenal woman and is already demonstrating incredible faith against all odds. I don't doubt she will be able to get through this. But I still feel as if any little prayer could definitely help.

I'm going to go retrieve Malia from her nap now... and hold her as tight as possible.

Dr. Tiffany Nutter, PhD. in Sleep

I read at least 1/2 a dozen books on sleep when Malia was little. (Yes, I read every single one of those pictured above.... cover to cover... some of them 3 or 4 times). Book in one hand, screaming baby in the other. Book after book after book, I was trying to find the magic answer to solve all the woes. I finally transferred to an awesome pediatrician (holla, Dr. Brinton!) who said to me, "Your child has severe colic. Probably the worst I've ever seen. Accept that these methods you are reading about will. not. work. for. her." So, it was a relief to know I wasn't just an idiot failing miserably, trying all of these things, and my child getting worse, instead of better. Turns out my kid was the lovely exception to all of the rules.

However, once her colic was miraculously taken care of by an amazing Chiropractor (holla, Dr. Thompson!), she had the most deplorable sleeping habits. The child had gotten used to waking up, literally - not an exaggeration - every 45 minutes to an hour all night long. So, I put my knowledge to work. I combined everything I'd read into what made the most logical sense to me. And, after about 3 months, things finally came to a glorious place (Malia still sleeps the maximum amount of hours for a child her age). I had even become the ward sleep specialist. I had moms coming to me with the sleep problems of their children... admittedly, it would get a little frustrating to hear that my advice had made differences for them overnight, whereas, it had taken me 3 months with my own child. Oh well. *sigh* Glad I could help.

HOWEVER, throughout all of my reading, I gained an incredible insight on sleep in general... not just for my child. Adults really do not truly understand the importance of sleep... especially American adults. It is crucial to our physical, mental, and emotional health. It really is! And I have become almost obsessive about getting my 8 hours of sleep ever since.

Problem is, ever since Malia was born, I've had a terrible time sleeping through the night myself. Even once she began finally doing it consistently, I have since become my worst nightmare: a frequent night-waker.

It sucks!!!!

Ok, so get this... 2 months ago, I slept through the night FOR THE FIRST TIME since Malia was born! She's 2 1/2, mind you. I was so HAPPY! I woke up for the first time since falling asleep, completely shocked that the sun was already up. I felt more tired then usual when I woke up, probably because my mind was thinking, "Yes, YES! More!" I was anticipating a great new change in my sleep patterns. Finally, I'll have the energy I've been lacking. I'll be a much more stable and happy person! Yes! SLEEEEEEP!

3 days later I found out I was pregnant.

I've been up every night since, already, with frequent trips to bathroom.

Some things are just not meant to be...

Introducing....

And THIS time around, we're aiming for no colic and blissful sleep from the get-go! (I can dream, can't I)?

... and anyone who knows me has to know how desperately difficult it's been for me to not say anything until we saw the ultrasound and the baby's heartbeat. I mean... it's been, like, a MONTH & A 1/2!!! That's big for me. This was the coolest thing, too, because we could see the baby so clearly. The machine was really new and the technician was incredibly good at her job. She had to tell me to stop moving a few times because she said the baby was all over the place and I wasn't helping (heh. Genetics). We even watched the little guy/gal do, like, a full-on bronco kick. It was incredible.

It really is miraculous.

A Postive Perspective

On this eve of Mother's Day (ha! Listen to me all trying to wax poetic).... I had some thoughts as I was lying (laying?) next to my daughter at bedtime, while Daddy read "Yertle the Turtle." (sidenote: when Daddy plays Yertle, he sounds a lot like Walter Mathou).

ANYWAY -

I was thinking about how us stay-at-home moms often feel we have to validate our jobs by reminding people of the numerous sacrifices we make, the unglamourous tediousness of it all, and the dozens of shoes we have to fill. We talk about how proud we are to be the mother's of our children... yet, all we can come up with is this lame and pessimistic perspective when defending our place in society.

So, for Mother's Day, I'm going to address all the totally awesome things I experience due to my "sacrifice" of being a stay-at-home. (I quote sacrifice, because, in conjunction with the theme of this blog, I'm approaching it with a positive twist).

BEING A STAY-AT-HOME MOM IS WAY AWESOMER THAN YOUR JOB BECAUSE:

*I'm the boss. I report to no one. Everyone in my house reports to me... well, everyone under 3 feet tall.

*Everything goes where I want it. I am not subject to anyone's organizational standards but my own.

*I don't have to "get ready" for work. I will not be fired because of a lack of work-appropriate attire, make-up, groomed hair.... or showering.

*My lunch break is all the time. I'm hungry? I want to sit down and veg for a minute? Go right ahead.

*Field trips are not only allowed... they're required. And they are often at Disneyland.

*I talk about poop & pee whenever I want and no one shushes me or asks me to watch my behavior.

*I can listen to whatever music I want, whenever I want.

*Running in circles and tickle fights are a daily occurrence.

*Talking to yourself shows brilliance, not insanity.

*I don't have to count on other people to flub on the tasks being done. I do them all myself, which means they get done the way they should.

*I never miss out on the hilarious antics and quotes that Malia produces at an alarmingly productive rate. The kid is pure comedy.

*I get more hugs in one day than any white-collar worker would get in a lifetime... and I usually don't even have to ask.

*When I'm having a bad day and need to cry, I don't have to go hide in a bathroom stall. I just cry. And then Malia asks, "Kiss it better?" And she does. And it works.

*I get to witness the miraculous speed at which a young toddler learns things and absorbs new information. It is truly a miracle.

Ok, so I'm running out of things... not because they don't exist, but because I'm pooped and a little brain dead from all the glorious things I get to do every day. But the most important thing in the whole wide world about my job that I know only Mommies know about:

*I am Malia's most favoritest person in the whole world. And even though I am constantly reminded "that will change," I don't care. Because right now I am. And it RULES!

Singing in the Shower

Ok.... so this may sound really strange, but I've never sung in the shower.

I've heard about it in various sitcoms, comedy acts, popular culture, etc. I've even had friends tell me about experiences they themselves have had while putting on recitals in the acoustical perfection of their bathrooms. But I've never done it.

Here's the thing: I grew up in a musical family. For anyone who knows us, that may seem like a bit of an understatement. My parents are both singers/musicians who put very possible successful careers on the backburner. They had 5 children, ALL of which sing and play a musical instrument... and ALL of which are quite good at it. When it comes to music, there is not an ounce of mediocrity in a single member of my immediate family. We even had a band that performed on all of the major holidays as well as at state & county fairs, local store grand openings, Church functions, and an occasional TV spot. This isn't a joke. We were like the Partridge Family (even better, in my opinion) and we're actually related. We even got paid for these "gigs" (imagine a 7-year-old turning down a birthday party because she had a "gig" with her family... I swear, it's true). Us kids never saw the money, but I'm told it was there.

I'm not just bragging. In fact, in some cases, quite the opposite. I mean, envision your typical sibling rivalries enhanced even more so by the fact that you all share the same talents and are all striving for success in the same area, which isn't going to happen, since we all know the business of the arts is more like a lottery then a true judgement of your ability.

Thus, why I never sang in the shower. When you have to hear your siblings sing and make a general musical ruckus all day long, a moment of peace & quiet in the shower was hard to come by... and very welcomed. Not to mention, I have no doubt I would have been royally mocked... especially if I was making an attempt to actually sing well in the shower. That's just the kind of loving family I have.

Admittedly, I've done a vocal warm-up here & there when I have somewhere to sing in the morning and time is limited. But no actual "singing."

Until today.

And let me tell you. The experience & acoustics are not over-rated.

I was awesome!